Monday, 21 July 2008

The "Social Ladder"

Here’s an explanation of the social groups you’ll find in my current school & where i fit in them:

There are groups amongst the school that I go to: There are the popular girls, the popular boys, the popular slutty girls, the not so popular immature boys, the normal average girls and the normal average boys. Then there are the “outcasts” of the school. You are probably wondering why I’m not using such terms as jocks or cheerleaders etc…well being in Switzerland, these type of terms aren’t really common in an International school and are mostly used in America. While the popular boys & girls are considered what is known as “hot” or other similar terms, the normal average girls and boys get not as much attention as the popular girls and boys; while the outcasts get almost none at all, unless it’s for humiliation purposes.

When I say outcast, I don’t mean literally as these people do have some friends amongst the school community, I mean the ones who most people don’t really talk or pay attention to; the ones that hardly ever get invited to social events; the ones that a lot of people don’t want to get stuck with in sports teams; the ones that no one really sits with in assemblies or at lunchtime because they’re considered “weird”. The ones that just want to fit in and be accepted by everyone.

While these popular people are out partying in there big expensive homes getting drunk, spending unnecessary amounts of money or simply going out by the lake on “Daddy’s boat”, the normal average people do more productive things with their life, while the “outcasts” tend to stay at home.

Unless you haven’t figured it out by now, I am one of these “outcasts”. Yes I do know a substantial amount of people in my school and I am kinda friends with some people in each of the groups stated above, but I still don’t fit into any of these groups. At one point I was one of the normal average girls in my year group, until they got sick of me for an unknown reason and decided not to acknowledge my existence most of the time. I even tried to hang out with the popular girls, although they liked me and they still do they always tend to have those private girly conversations and after a while made it pretty clear that they didn’t really want me around…they probably thought that I just “got in the way”…One of the normal average girls even told me to “get back to my last school”…to make things worse it was the one girl who I thought I was closest to…the girl who I thought I could trust the most…turned out that I was clearly wrong.


Parties I get invited to (with a lot of persuasion), but I never find myself really enjoying them. I recall one pool party when a small group of the "popular boys" were playing table tennis. I was on the side watching them but after a few minutes they told me to go because I was apparently "in the way of their game"…I left convinced that I was, but then I saw one of the "popular girls" going to the exact same spot were I had been before…and they said nothing…they let her stay there.

One bad thing about going to an International school is, although it is English speaking with most lessons in that language, you’ll find that many languages are spoken amongst people. While I am not saying it is a bad thing to be in a multi lingual environment where people speak whatever language they are most comfortable speaking, I’ve found myself at times trying to socialise with some people that purposely speak another language that I don’t understand just so they can bad mouth me and joke about me at their own personal amusement, without me really realising, knowing that I can’t say anything back.

So now…I tend to be alone at times. This may sound strange but when it comes to break times at my school…I don’t go outside anymore. I just go into the school library and read or do some schoolwork on one of the computers. I love books, I always have. One aspect I like about them is the fact that just for that moment I’m in someone else’s world and not my own…whether it’s fiction or non fiction, even if it is for a short period of time. At times I find myself looking out the library window looking at everyone in their groups…especially the normal average girls…I used to be one of those girls…

Looking at them i find myself at times confused...while these "popular girls" unintentionally attract the "popular boys"...these "popular slutty girls" put themselves out at any moment they can trying to get their attention; i look at them and think "why do they do this? why are they so desperate to be the centre of attention at all times?"...

Can you think why they are like this? maybe they are insecure about something, i dunno...

6 comments:

spoinkyblob said...

haha u outcast

spoinkyblob said...

u have a fat ass and you eat shit. PORTIA u have no friends and your so ugly i puke when i look at you!

rosielove said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bee said...

lol looks like spoinkyblob threw a bit of a fit there..you cant be serious. reading your comment just kind of makes me laugh...its pitiful, but i guess you can be anyone on the internet, choose any sort of identity. my question is just why..this bad-tempered bulemic?

ANYWAYS, I really didnt realize we had such a clique-ish community in your year group..but then again, i do notice certain significant 'outcasts' who always seem to be alone. although i will say it surprised me when you tagged yourself as one of them, I saw you as one of the more admirable people in your year, but i guess i only know your class from your time at your lockers..
I dont know if it speaks for all new students, but for the more general definition of 'outcast', my first year at this school was a lot like that..you felt like you really had to push to get any social acceptance.
i've had library days too!! sometimes i just don't feel like looking for people who will talk to me, of i just dont feel like talking to people in general. oh and i hate that awkward 20 minutes we have before lunch, its so pointless grr. lol completely beside the point, i know.
over all i think it all seems to improve the longer you've been at the school. my second year was definitely better than the first

white said...

Portia dont make ppl pitty you.

seriously, you choose to be alone, you choose to be extremely sensitive about every little joke, you choose to attack your best friend at coop so that she was so afraid she had to run for her life so you wouldnt kill her, you choose to tell Mrs Skelly she called stephan a mexican when he IS a mexican, you made those choices.

your a outcast b/c you push everyone away. i TRIED to be friends with you. i TRIED to talk to you. but u ran away, like a coward. because thats what u are. a coward.
we were outcast together, ill admit that, but i made ppl like me by being myself and having a good time. my happiness was contagious. you just wanted to sit and be alone. so what portia.


oh and spoinkyblob is right, you do have a huge ass.

Billie Walker said...

Err...nice to know how you feel Heidi...
and by the way, people can change...