RHI knows...

Lol Turns out that whoever the twisted individual is behind the website I mentioned earlier, that targets certain people in my year/school have seen this blog, (well to be fair I did leave a link to it...)
But I think it's about time that SOMEONE had the balls to tell them what they really thought about them and the things they were putting on the site...

It's even being questioned about who I am...
Well if you were to ask me who i actually was I'd tell you...I just feel like writing these posts under a different name thats all...nothing wrong with that is it??

So to whoever is behind this other site: get rid of it.
Not only does it sometimes affect the people who you are writing about, but you are at points invading their privacy. Who cares if this or that person is in a relationship with someone else; it's on Facebook...isn't that enough for you?? Why can't you just leave them to get on with their relationship without the likes of you trying to make a big deal over it...

And another thing: just because you have certain people out there who thrive on the things you put up it doesn't mean that you shouldn't stop. Maybe those certain individuals will just have to learn to live without their "gossip" for once...

For those who haven't visited this site before and wonder what it says...you'll just have to keep wondering because more than enough people have been on it already (your loss)...

Best Friend(s) - Who Needs Them?

You know how most people have that best friend; you know the one they always hang out with, the one that they know they can trust, the one they've known since they were 6 or something like that?
Well...turns out I don't have one of those. At one point I thought I did, as I'd known this girl since i was about 4; but like quiet a few people I've known and know now she was just like the rest of them; a two faced backstabber (if to say the least...)
After what happened with her, I promised myself that I wouldn't be as close to someone like that again, as it always ends up badly (well at least for me it does anyway...)

Although I still think this a bit, I find myself looking at the school environment surrounding me and notice people with their best/closest friend; it's then I realise that everyone has SOMEONE; even the "outcasts" have someone outside the school community...everyone that is except me.

I hate to admit this...but I miss having a good friend like that. While I have a few friends at my school that I feel that I can sometimes talk to on a personal level...I honestly couldn't talk to them about anything at that moment that would be bothering me. It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that:
1) I know what they would say
2) They have been fortunate enough not to have gone through any rough times so they wouldn't be able to relate to the situation
3) They just wouldn't understand
the third reason is the most important to me, though they wouldn't admit it, they'd just act like they know how I'm feeling, when truthfully they don't.

I don't know, maybe I'll eventually find a friend like that, maybe I won't, or am I just pushing people away?
Maybe I'm not the one with the problem & it's just the combination of a-holes, plastic whores and fakes (with the occasional good person) surrounding me. Like one of my favourite bands ay in one of their songs
"All you can be is just you 'cos your real not the plastic type/But reality sets and your stuck in this plastic life"
What I love about that song (for anyone who knows it) is that it depicts my school life perfectly well, I can listen to it and it makes me feel better; at least they care...

And he's right, I am stuck in this plastic life, basically until I graduate...
Until then, i deal with it one step at a time...

High School "Popular Slutty Girls" Vs. Middle School "Popular Girls"

If you don't know what the high school is like at my school let me explain it to you...it's in some ways similar to the groups you'll find in middle school (see my "Social Ladder" post for the explanation), but in some ways it is worse...while the boys in general mature overall, the "popular boys" become more cocky and arrogant, while the "popular slutty girls" become a lot more bitchy and self centred; some of them even become more obsessed about their weight :s

These "popular slutty girls", are used to having a lot of attention (especially from the opposite sex) drawn to them; and when all eyes aren't on them...even if it is just for one moment, you can imagine that they don't take it lightly. How they resolve it you wonder? By spreading rumors about the girls who the attention IS to, these girls being the "popular girls".
There has always been alot of friction and tension between these two social groups. While the "popular girls" just want to get on with their lives, the "popular slutty girls" will try and put the other girls down at any moment they can...just to make them feel generally better about themselves (isn't that sad?).

Like i mentioned before, they spread rumors that they have heard about these other girls, or just rumours they have heard off the top of their heads....
But my school being my school (i won't mention it's name), just telling people about these rumors wasn't enough for them was it? so what do they do? They set up a website for everyone to see...
This website has caused a lot of upset for the "popular girls", as the things stated on there are exaggerated and beyond the actual truth; and to make things worse, the "popular girls" being targeted on this website are all in my year group, i.e they were just in middle school when these things were said about them...

Middle school?! excuse my language but how low can these "popular slutty girls" f****** stoop? Them being in high school they should know better than to spread such s*** about girls that are younger than them...these "popular girls" in middle school have done nothing wrong yet these "popular slutty girls" in high school still CONTINUE to spread horrible rumours about them...and for what? because some high school boys find them attractive?!

These "popular girls" going into high school the upcoming school year...you can only imagine that the rumours are going to get worse and more ridiculous than before...
When a friend of mine from the "popular girls" asked me what i thought of the website and the things being said to her, I told her this:

I told her that the website was full of s*** and that her, or any of the other "popular girls" being targeted on it shouldn't pay any attention to it; i told her that yes she does have every right to be a bit upset by it, but she should still not let it get to her...because if she was to show these "popular slutty girls" that, she'd be showing them that they've won; that they have achieved trying to bring down her as a person. I told her that she KNOWS that they have nothing better to do...so why get annoyed about that?
I ended it by saying (this may sound kinda harsh) that if they can't deal with the fact that the attention is going to be on them all the time, that they should just f*** off and go stick their fingers down their throats; or whatever those Barbie sl*ts do in their spare time to get skinny...

This tension has gone on between the two groups for too long...i just hope it all ends soon before things get out of hand (which i don't think is very likely at my school tbh...)

The "Social Ladder"

Here’s an explanation of the social groups you’ll find in my current school & where i fit in them:

There are groups amongst the school that I go to: There are the popular girls, the popular boys, the popular slutty girls, the not so popular immature boys, the normal average girls and the normal average boys. Then there are the “outcasts” of the school. You are probably wondering why I’m not using such terms as jocks or cheerleaders etc…well being in Switzerland, these type of terms aren’t really common in an International school and are mostly used in America. While the popular boys & girls are considered what is known as “hot” or other similar terms, the normal average girls and boys get not as much attention as the popular girls and boys; while the outcasts get almost none at all, unless it’s for humiliation purposes.

When I say outcast, I don’t mean literally as these people do have some friends amongst the school community, I mean the ones who most people don’t really talk or pay attention to; the ones that hardly ever get invited to social events; the ones that a lot of people don’t want to get stuck with in sports teams; the ones that no one really sits with in assemblies or at lunchtime because they’re considered “weird”. The ones that just want to fit in and be accepted by everyone.

While these popular people are out partying in there big expensive homes getting drunk, spending unnecessary amounts of money or simply going out by the lake on “Daddy’s boat”, the normal average people do more productive things with their life, while the “outcasts” tend to stay at home.

Unless you haven’t figured it out by now, I am one of these “outcasts”. Yes I do know a substantial amount of people in my school and I am kinda friends with some people in each of the groups stated above, but I still don’t fit into any of these groups. At one point I was one of the normal average girls in my year group, until they got sick of me for an unknown reason and decided not to acknowledge my existence most of the time. I even tried to hang out with the popular girls, although they liked me and they still do they always tend to have those private girly conversations and after a while made it pretty clear that they didn’t really want me around…they probably thought that I just “got in the way”…One of the normal average girls even told me to “get back to my last school”…to make things worse it was the one girl who I thought I was closest to…the girl who I thought I could trust the most…turned out that I was clearly wrong.

Parties I get invited to (with a lot of persuasion), but I never find myself really enjoying them. I recall one pool party when a small group of the "popular boys" were playing table tennis. I was on the side watching them but after a few minutes they told me to go because I was apparently "in the way of their game"…I left convinced that I was, but then I saw one of the "popular girls" going to the exact same spot were I had been before…and they said nothing…they let her stay there.

One bad thing about going to an International school is, although it is English speaking with most lessons in that language, you’ll find that many languages are spoken amongst people. While I am not saying it is a bad thing to be in a multi lingual environment where people speak whatever language they are most comfortable speaking, I’ve found myself at times trying to socialise with some people that purposely speak another language that I don’t understand just so they can bad mouth me and joke about me at their own personal amusement, without me really realising, knowing that I can’t say anything back.

So now…I tend to be alone at times. This may sound strange but when it comes to break times at my school…I don’t go outside anymore. I just go into the school library and read or do some schoolwork on one of the computers. I love books, I always have. One aspect I like about them is the fact that just for that moment I’m in someone else’s world and not my own…whether it’s fiction or non fiction, even if it is for a short period of time. At times I find myself looking out the library window looking at everyone in their groups…especially the normal average girls…I used to be one of those girls…

Looking at them i find myself at times confused...while these "popular girls" unintentionally attract the "popular boys"...these "popular slutty girls" put themselves out at any moment they can trying to get their attention; i look at them and think "why do they do this? why are they so desperate to be the centre of attention at all times?"...

Can you think why they are like this? maybe they are insecure about something, i dunno...

High School: Am I Really Ready?

For those who don't know what the High School people at my school are like, let me explain it to you...
It's in some ways similar to the people in Middle School, although in High School, while boys generally mature overall, certain ones become more cocky and arrogant. While the girls become bitchier and mainly become more obsessed with their weight overall...

Another thing that about 70% of high school students tend to lose is their individuality, while for the girls it sometimes can be their appetite for food...
I have always thought that a very large majority of High School students look the same; simply because of the way they dress....
Almost everyone in High school wears Abercrombie & Fitch all the time along with ridiculously tight skinny jeans (yes, on some boys too :S), Polo shirts on the boys and denim miniskirts on girls....

I just finished my last year of middle school, so I'll be part of this "wonderful" high school next year..
As much as I'm ready for the new teachers and more schoolwork, social wise I don't think I am..
Yes i know a few High School people, as i have my moments when I can be very social with people, but i know for a fact that there are some people in high school that have a problem with me...

When it comes to what is "pretty" and what isn't when it comes to girls, the only way someone will actually like you is if you are Swedish, Blonde or speak a second language.
None of these things, I am or can do, but I don't like any of these boys at my school anyway (thank God..)
Why High School people tend to be so narrow minded when it comes to a girls appearance I don't understand, but I am telling you now some won't hesitate to say what they thought was wrong about you if you were a girl...

Because of reasons like these and a few more...I think to myself "Am I ready for High School? Do I really want to surround myself with a***holes, fakes, wannabes and possibly bulimics too for that matter?"
That being thought I realised...I can deal with it, as long as i don't turn into one of them I'll be fine right? I mean...4 years go by very quickly these years...and it won't be long before quite a few of them are leaving themselves...