OMG White Beauty!!

The white man's idea of "beauty" in women has had an impact on everyone (and not necessarily in a good way); it has been something that has developed over the years, but roughly being the same each time. The following factors are what are said to make a woman beautiful, based on the white man's/woman's standards in the media:
- Long, light coloured hair
- Light coloured, empty looking eyes
- Thin Body
- Pale (sometimes tanned) skin

While this look is natural to some, there are many people who have strived (and still do) to get this look or something similar. What makes it sad is that through history, it has changed how almost every other race sees beauty, even today.

Take African Americans for instance. Once stolen from their land by Europeans and shipped to what we now know as America, the slaves that had a lighter skin tone or Caucasian blood in them due to interracial rape by the white man, were favoured more compared to the slaves of a darker natural tone. Although this happened hundreds of years ago, the light skinned/dark skinned issue has still had an affect on not just a majority of African Americans in the United States, but also black people across the globe, whether it's in the UK, France or even parts of Africa itself. It has gotten so extreme to the point where some of us feel the need to straighten our hair with harmful chemicals, wear coloured contact lenses that aren't even our natural colour, and sometimes even bleach our skin to make it lighter, because its said to be "beautiful"; Something that some black celebrities have undergone to "fit into" the mainstream entertainment industry.

Not only has it affected some females in places like Africa, but Asia too. It is very popular now for some Asian women in places like Japan, China, Singapore, or even North America to wear tape, glue or even have surgery done on their eyes to make them look more like Westerners, because it's considered to be pretty and more attractive . If you went to one of these Asian countries such as Korea, you'd find that the most common form of surgery over there is the type done on a person's eyes to make them look less Asian and more Caucasian...
Not only this, but it's common for Asian women to wear coloured contacts of colours like green, blue or grey that are said to make the eyes look bigger, (i.e. more Western).

Even in places like India or Pakistan, you are only considered beautiful if you bleach your skin, wear coloured contacts, and dye your hair light colours like blonde; colours that are generally unnatural for people from Asia. Take a look at actresses in Bollywood; a lot (if not all of them) have gone under the process of dying their hair, wearing coloured contact lenses and bleaching their skin; some have done it to the point where they are at times, mistaken to be a Caucasian woman. ------->



These ideas and perceptions of what beauty is meant to be has been planted into some peoples minds so badly, that they pass these false perceptions onto younger generations. A good example of this being done can be seen by the author Constance Briscoe.
In her book "Ugly", she talks at one point how her mother would always tell her when growing up how she thought her lips were too big, her nose was too wide and how her skin was too dark; something that affected her in a big way, as later on in her life she got a nose job and lip reduction.

So where did these ideas of beauty come from? Well a large portion of it clearly comes from the media. Everyday we see images of women/young girls who have at least one or two of the factors of "beauty" listed at the beginning of this post; and because these women in the media don't really look like an average female you'd find walking down the street, some of us just assume that they are the beautiful ones, that they are the ones that are truly pretty, and that we have to look like them and not the other way round...a lot of people don't see some of the evil behind the media around us and the false perceptions it makes...

Especially in places like Asia, one of my Asian friends told me that most of the advertisements you see around you consist of women from the Western world with blonde hair, blue eyes and a thin, boyish figure; and the few Asian women you do see in the media over their usually have had surgery to change their eye shape and wear contacts to change their natural colour...something that leads not just Asian women to become insecure about the way they naturally are, but also any other ethnicity that doesn't fit this fake image of "beauty", and is one of the reasons that women do these things to themselves in the first place, because of what they see around them on the in things like advertisements...

Like mentioned before, these false standards of "white beauty" affect the way other races see themselves, if not the actual white race at some points too. I go to a predominately white school at the moment, if you were to go there and look at the girls that are considered beautiful, hot, pretty or whatever you want to call it, you'll find that many of them have blonde/light coloured hair that often passes their shoulders, light, empty looking eyes and are usually quite thin. And because I don't look like this, at times I feel that I'm being judged by others in the school community based on my appearance...not only does this apply to me, but to anyone else there that doesn't live up to these shallow expectations...

I also experienced this in my last school before coming to Switzerland. Even though the school students were mainly people of colour, the girls who were of mixed heritage with the paler skin tone that had more European blood in them were favoured over other black or Asian girls who didn't.
I know this because I was one of those girls who didn't have as much white in them, who didn't straighten their hair with chemicals, and whose skin tone wasn't more on the pale side; and because of this, I was at one point considered ugly. It wasn't until I wore contacts that changed my eye colour and put extensions in my hair that made it look more straight and European, that more people looked at me in a different way and considered me pretty. This is something I regret doing, as I did it thinking (at the time) I'd be excepted more from other people...and even though I was for a short period of time, I was still trying to portray this image that wasn't truly me, an image of myself that was fake. It wasn't until my Mum told me to stop with the grey contacts etc. because I wasn't white, and that things like that weren't natural on our people, that I opened my eyes a bit more...it was then that I accepted myself more and stopped trying to be something I'm clearly not...

So what about the rest of us that have accepted ourselves?? Why should we feel self concious about our looks?? Why should we try and compare ourself to this so called image of "beauty" or "perfection" when it's probably an image based on self conciousness itself. This perception of "white beauty" is false; some white people might just be saying that they are the most beautiful people, because they are in fact the most insecure; something they try to solve or cover up by indirectly telling almost every other race out there that they're inferior compared to the Western world through things like the media, and that in order to be beautiful and to be accepted in today's society that they must look more Western...

What about people like me who have embraced their ethnicity, like the way they are and choose not to alter or change anything about that...does that make us ugly?! Who are you to say that people that choose not to look like most girls in the media aren't beautiful too...








While the media aren't directly saying that everyone else is ugly, they are sometimes giving that impression to other people who don't look like most girls on TV; when the truth is, the women pictured above (as well as many other women) are beautiful too. The media clearly doesn't realise that beauty comes in more than one form, shape or size, otherwise more realistic looking people like them would be shown in it more often, but sadly they're not.

So to anyone (whether you're black, white, Asian or anything else for that matter), who feels the need to change their features just to live up to the modern [false] standards of "beauty", please stop now. You're features are some of the only things that signify you from other races (whether it is your hair, your eyes, your nose, your skin etc.)...Why would you want to change that??
By trying to change/alter not just your facial features, but also things like your weight, you are becoming less of an individual and more of a clone; and worst of all, you are becoming less of the person you truly are, the person you were before you started to compare yourself to people in the media, and felt like you had to change; the truth is they are the ones that need to change, because only a very small portion of people in this world naturally look like them.

Money Money Money....

Maybe this topic isn't new, maybe this has progressed over the years, but this obsession with money and the "status" it supposedly gives you has REALLY seemed to get out of control these days...
And it seems to be affecting quite a few people, whether it's spoilt teenagers, some music artists out there, or maybe just people in this world with too much power and authority...

For instance, take the school that I'm at now. While there are tons of nice people there, you still get the occasional person who thinks just because of the amount of money they have and how rich they are, that somehow makes them better than people who don't even have half the money that they or their family have. This is sad because, their parents actually brought them up thinking that was true, when its clearly not :S...

That doesn't just relate to some people from my school, but people in general. But that being said, I've only met those few occasional people with that mind set since coming to this school...
But like I said before, not EVERYONE there is like that. I know people there that are probably part of one of the richest families in the school community; but they don't show it. While it is true that they have lots of money, for them it doesn't mean that all their clothes should consist of only expensive designer labels. Meeting people like them has helped me highlight the fact that not all rich people are show offs who feel that they have to portray their wealth to everyone hey know and see (not that I thought that before, but it just helps lower the stereotype of that...)

And while all rich people DON'T feel they are better than others because of their wealth, you still get those who feel that they have to tell everyone how rich they are and how much money they HAVE; a good example of people doing this are some rappers out there (only some).
Don't get me wrong, I like Hip Hop and Rap music (well, not all of it), but if some songs in that genre just consist of the artist going on about how much money they have, how stinking rich they are and how they are "getting paper", then I REALY don't want to hear it; It's probably because of artists like them, that the music quality of that genre has gotten worse over the last few years...not that I'm mentioning anyone in particular (**cough cough** 50 cent**).

Maybe if it wasn't for programs like "Super Sweet 16", then maybe (just maybe) this money obsession wouldn't be so bad. Anyone who's watched that will know that the teenagers on there are just TOO spoilt. I mean, what's the point in spending soo much money on all those unecesary things?! You probably get some young people watching that thinking something like "They have such big expensive parties turning 16, so I must too when I reach that age"
Not that I'm saying everyone is that naïve and easlily influenced, but we all know what impact MTV has had on some people :/...

I can tell you now that if you got to the richest people out there in this wolrd an asked them if they were truly happy, not all of them would say yes; because once you take away the big house(s), the expensive cars, and anything else that their riches have given them, you'll find that for some of them, there's something missing in their life; something that all the money they own put together can't buy them.

It really is true that money can't buy you happiness, because there are people out there who live in one of the poorest countries, with little money and probably not much belongings, but are still probably happier than some of the richest people on this earth; that's because they appreciate the little and important things in life, like life itself, or maybe the fact that they're still here on this earth; it's people like them who are truly happy...

The Kite Runner/A Thousand Splendid Suns

Last month, I found myself reading these two books by the Afghan author Khaled Hosseini, reading A Thousand Splendid Suns first and then The Kite Runner afterwards.
I can honestly say that these were two of the saddest books (emotionally) I have read in a while. Before reading these two novels, I wasn't very aware of the situations in parts of Afghanistan and how bad they were and are now today (especially on the female gender);
though women's/girl's equality is mentioned in The Kite Runner, it is the main topic in A Thousand Splendid Suns, a story based on two women and the abuse they face from their beyond violent husband. (While both books are beyond good, I found A Thousand Splendid Suns to be better in it's consistency, as it caught me more than The Kite Runner did; as for me The Kite Runner ended too soon)
For anyone who has read this book, you will understand what I mean when I say it is definitely an eye opener on how women are still treated today in some parts of Muslim countries such as Afghanistan. For instance: how a woman can't go out in public without a man being present, how a woman is not even considered for any type of education, and how, as it says in A Thousand Splendid Suns: "A woman's face is her husband's business only", meaning that a woman must be completely covered at all times, via. wearing clothing such as a burqa. If a woman was not to do any of the things listed above (as well as others stated in the book), they would be arrested, which could lead to being executed in public or even stoned to death.

Despite the fact that both books are fiction, it is clear that they are based on real life and aren't that far from the truth; and I appreciate Khaled for writing these books and being able to let others know about what is going on in his country; because as bad as this may sound, I was once convinced that the problems going on in places such as Afghanistan weren't that bad; but thankfully, reading these two books told me otherwise. Maybe it's my own fault for not watching the news enough (that being said, we all know how the media likes to exaggerate or under mention some things).

So to anyone who likes a good book that you can't put down, I would definitely suggest these two. Not only do they give you a gripping storyline, but they give you some home truths about some Middle Eastern countries, as well as a little history lesson ;)
Unfortunately, Khaled Hosseini has only published these two books :(, but I have a feeling he's working on another one, something that is better than The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns combined...

What Goes On In Their Mind?

So there's this person in my school; now who this person is or whether it's a boy or girl, I'll just keep that to myself...but this person has a [slight] (if not bad) mental condition.
Now when I say mental condition, I don't mean special needs or something along those lines, I mean the type of mental condition that can affect their mood, the things they say, and possibly how they see things (or maybe their ego).

In this case, one main thing this person's mental condition seems to affect the way this person treats other people. One moment, this person may be nice, and the next moment,they'll be treating the same person differently than before and start acting like an a-hole or a b**** to you (depending if it's a boy or girl of course..)
Because this person has done this to it's various friends amongst school, from what I know he or she has pushed those friends away; to an extent that this person's true friends are only said to be two people in that person's year (one of which is a new student)

Another thing this person can try do at points is try and put others down for whatever reason...this I don't understand; if you were at that time depressed or sad at one point why would you want someone to feel the same way? If this person needs to bring someone else down (who most probably doesn't deserve it) just to bring themselves up, then their mental condition may be a bit worse than it seems (either that or they're slightly twisted)...I don't know, maybe that person has the same mindset as whoever left bad comments on one of my previous posts...

Or maybe that person is just insecure about themselves, however that shouldn't be an excuse.
I admit it, I'm very insecure about myself, but that doesn't give me the right (or the excuse) to try and bring others down, just because I'm personally in a crappy mood. If I was to be in a bad mood, the last thing I'd want to do is to try and make someone else feel the same way...perhaps this person doesn't want people to see them as insecure, perhaps they'd rather have that affect on other peopl, just so they can forget about their problems for that moment...

Now I've seen this person in many states; I've seen this person be nice, I've seen this person be horrible. I've seen this person being social, I've also seen this person being the complete opposite, refusing to talk to almost anyone. I've seen this person in many ways, but in one memorable state I've seen this person in is when they were crying once at school. When seeing that person cry, I realised this person isn't as mean or as tough as they [might] seem at times; it got me wondering, is this their real personality I'm seeing? Is what they're usually like at school all an act? I can definitely say that day I saw a different side to that person; a side I didn't really know existed in them.

I don't want to give the impression that I hate this person, because I don't; if anything I can't help at times but feel sorry for them and pity them a bit. They can't help their mental state; but this mental condition they have has the potential to affect how that person's peers see them (and not necessarily in a positive way)...
I also don't want to give the impression that I know all the answers to this person's issues, because I don't...I'm just saying what I think and how I see it from my point of view...What this person's condition is called I don't know, but it could be a number of things...could this person be slightly bi polar, a potential future schizophrenic, or are they just paranoid at times? Who knows...

What I do know is that they have visited this blog before, so they probably might read this; so if that person knows I'm talking about them then this is what I want to say to them now:

Stop the act; or if it's not an act and your condition makes you have split personalities, then get help. I'm not saying that you should visit the school counsellor (I don't think even she can help you...no offence) but maybe a few therapy sessions or something, because you don't seem to realise how your condition can affect the way you are seen sometimes. Or maybe your split personalities (if you have them) make it seem that at times there is nothing wrong with you to people like the school consellor, when that's not the case. You can allow others to help you if you can't even help yourself a tiny bit.

Just For The Record....

Reading a few not so good comments on this blog, I'd thought that I'd adress a few things to some people...

This first point is to everyone: take a good look at the title of this blog; it has many meanings, but the I suppose the meaning I'm trying to portray now is: "Don't feel sorry for me when I'm perfectly fine"
...This blog is for you to see what I think on various topics, NOT for you to read it and think "Oh, her life is so bad, I wish I could help her" or something along those lines...one thing I hate is sympathy, so if you're visiting this blog just for that, then you're on it for all the wrong reasons...

One comment I read on my "Social Ladder" post just made me laugh...I'm sorry but how do you expect me to take that seriously?! What you said to me was through a computer screen!! Maybe, just maybe if you said it to me in person then I might get the slightest bit offended, but that begin said I'd probably just laugh again xD.

And the fact that you see me as ugly, well that's your own narrow minded opinion, some people may agree with you on that, but that doesn't make it true...it seems to me that you have a few problems with yourself if you say such things to other people...
Whoever you are I don't know, but you can't be that important if you haven't told me who you are yet or left no clue or indication of your actual name.

Yeah my arse is fat...so what?! it's not going to get any smaller, so you can kiss it all I care. Do you seriously think that I'm going to lose weight, trying to make it smaller just to suit the likes of you?!
Let's face it...even if I was to do that (which I wouldn't) you would still find something else to b**** about when it comes to my appearance; if it's not my arse then it would be my lips, or my hair, or my skin, or whatever other feature of mine didn't fit your extremely low standards as to what is seen as "normal" or "perfect" etc...

And to the last person who commented on that post, I didn't push people away. You being someone who went to the school and once being an "outcast" yourself, you should know that there are certain people there that aren't worth trying to know on a personal level...and what's all this talk about you "trying"?, you obviously didn't try hard enough if you just gave up after a while and you are STILL going on about what happened; I forgot about all of that the moment you walked out of the school for good. Maybe if you actually proved you were still worth being a friend, then maybe I wouldn't have walked away from you every time you supposedly did "try"; and despite the fact that I clearly KNOW who you are are, you still chose to be a coward yourself and not show any indication of that, I mean, are you that ashamed of yourself?? or are you just all the things you are trying to portray me as....

So I'm going to end this in some of the words of the great poet Maya Angelou, which I want you to remember the next time you bad mouth me on this blog:

"Do you want to see me broken
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops
Weakened by my soulful cries...

You may shoot me with your words
You may cut me with your eyes
You may kill me with your hatefulness
But still like air, I rise"

Social Ladder: Revisited

Now being in High School, my views have kinda changed on the whole "Social Ladder" aspect...

Honestly, I don't know what I think anymore; I suppose that I don't really consider myself to be an "outcast", but that being I'm not sure where I stand in school anymore. . . When I wrote that post, I wrote it because that's how I saw things AT THE TIME; when writing it I had no intention of offending or upsetting anyone in particular. But to be fair, when saying those groups, I didn't mention names, initials or anything like that of certain people, I only mentioned myself; so in a way people in my school just read it, assumed that I thought they went into this or that group without really knowing, and immediately got ticked off by it. I mean I could see you as a normal average girl for instance, but you may have thought otherwise; so it's not just how I see others, but how others see themselves...

So the next time you read that post, don't just assume I think you go into a certain group without really knowing for certain, you don't know how I really see you...

I [MIGHT] Just Be Ready After All...

So I just had my first day of High School today...and I must admit, things were a bit better than I thought they would be...
There were quite a few new people in the school (especially in my year), they all were quite nice too (well the ones I talked to anyway =S)
I didn't find myself having any major problem with talking to certain people and visa versa; lol I even went outside at break, it felt a bit wierd at first but after a few minutes I was fine...it seems that my library days might not be coming back anytime soon...

What I found surprising was when I was with a few people in the corridor, and I spotted a new girl in my year on her own in one of the classrooms...I looked at her thinking: it wasn't that long ago when I'd be doing the same thing as her, not wanting to talk to anyone...I understand her wanting to be alone at times, but her being in the school for only a few hours, I couldn't leave her alone...the good thing is is that she did come out and start to talk with others in my year :) and yeah...she seems to be doing fine at the moment...

So back on the subject on High School, I emphasized the might for a reason; while things for me are fine when it comes to my school work, social wise, it's too early for me to say where I stand; the one day I had today could be completely different from the next years coming up, good or bad. But however it turns out, I'll find a way to deal with it...