I've realised that people these days (when solving their friends problems), act in a way that makes them think they can help the person, when they know they can't because of certain experiences that they have (or haven't) had, and I've come across them myself. Here's some things that they really shouldn't do (add the title of this post in front of each sentence)
...Don't make any pre judgments about the person, because you probably don't know the whole story (you may know alot or more than others, but it's still not every little detail)
...Don't try and give them advice (the last thing they want is someone telling them what they should do), unless they specifically asked for your help. If they're not asking for it, then there's a big chance that they don't want any from you
...Don't give them crappy, useless advice that you KNOW won't work if they do ask you for it
...Don't LIE and convince the person (or even yourself) that you know about what they're going through when in the back of your mind you really wouldn't know, because you've never experienced anything like that yourself
...Don't make it your priority to try and fix things for them. Sometimes it's best just to let the person deal with it themselves rather than with others; because when others do get themselves involved, it has the potential to make things worse instead of better - a problem shared isn't always a problem halved
...Just LISTEN to the person!! Sometimes, people don't want their friends advice or personal judgements, they just want someone to talk to about it without the other person saying much back
Sunday, 8 March 2009
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