Just For The Record....

Reading a few not so good comments on this blog, I'd thought that I'd adress a few things to some people...

This first point is to everyone: take a good look at the title of this blog; it has many meanings, but the I suppose the meaning I'm trying to portray now is: "Don't feel sorry for me when I'm perfectly fine"
...This blog is for you to see what I think on various topics, NOT for you to read it and think "Oh, her life is so bad, I wish I could help her" or something along those lines...one thing I hate is sympathy, so if you're visiting this blog just for that, then you're on it for all the wrong reasons...

One comment I read on my "Social Ladder" post just made me laugh...I'm sorry but how do you expect me to take that seriously?! What you said to me was through a computer screen!! Maybe, just maybe if you said it to me in person then I might get the slightest bit offended, but that begin said I'd probably just laugh again xD.

And the fact that you see me as ugly, well that's your own narrow minded opinion, some people may agree with you on that, but that doesn't make it true...it seems to me that you have a few problems with yourself if you say such things to other people...
Whoever you are I don't know, but you can't be that important if you haven't told me who you are yet or left no clue or indication of your actual name.

Yeah my arse is fat...so what?! it's not going to get any smaller, so you can kiss it all I care. Do you seriously think that I'm going to lose weight, trying to make it smaller just to suit the likes of you?!
Let's face it...even if I was to do that (which I wouldn't) you would still find something else to b**** about when it comes to my appearance; if it's not my arse then it would be my lips, or my hair, or my skin, or whatever other feature of mine didn't fit your extremely low standards as to what is seen as "normal" or "perfect" etc...

And to the last person who commented on that post, I didn't push people away. You being someone who went to the school and once being an "outcast" yourself, you should know that there are certain people there that aren't worth trying to know on a personal level...and what's all this talk about you "trying"?, you obviously didn't try hard enough if you just gave up after a while and you are STILL going on about what happened; I forgot about all of that the moment you walked out of the school for good. Maybe if you actually proved you were still worth being a friend, then maybe I wouldn't have walked away from you every time you supposedly did "try"; and despite the fact that I clearly KNOW who you are are, you still chose to be a coward yourself and not show any indication of that, I mean, are you that ashamed of yourself?? or are you just all the things you are trying to portray me as....

So I'm going to end this in some of the words of the great poet Maya Angelou, which I want you to remember the next time you bad mouth me on this blog:

"Do you want to see me broken
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops
Weakened by my soulful cries...

You may shoot me with your words
You may cut me with your eyes
You may kill me with your hatefulness
But still like air, I rise"

Social Ladder: Revisited

Now being in High School, my views have kinda changed on the whole "Social Ladder" aspect...

Honestly, I don't know what I think anymore; I suppose that I don't really consider myself to be an "outcast", but that being I'm not sure where I stand in school anymore. . . When I wrote that post, I wrote it because that's how I saw things AT THE TIME; when writing it I had no intention of offending or upsetting anyone in particular. But to be fair, when saying those groups, I didn't mention names, initials or anything like that of certain people, I only mentioned myself; so in a way people in my school just read it, assumed that I thought they went into this or that group without really knowing, and immediately got ticked off by it. I mean I could see you as a normal average girl for instance, but you may have thought otherwise; so it's not just how I see others, but how others see themselves...

So the next time you read that post, don't just assume I think you go into a certain group without really knowing for certain, you don't know how I really see you...

I [MIGHT] Just Be Ready After All...

So I just had my first day of High School today...and I must admit, things were a bit better than I thought they would be...
There were quite a few new people in the school (especially in my year), they all were quite nice too (well the ones I talked to anyway =S)
I didn't find myself having any major problem with talking to certain people and visa versa; lol I even went outside at break, it felt a bit wierd at first but after a few minutes I was fine...it seems that my library days might not be coming back anytime soon...

What I found surprising was when I was with a few people in the corridor, and I spotted a new girl in my year on her own in one of the classrooms...I looked at her thinking: it wasn't that long ago when I'd be doing the same thing as her, not wanting to talk to anyone...I understand her wanting to be alone at times, but her being in the school for only a few hours, I couldn't leave her alone...the good thing is is that she did come out and start to talk with others in my year :) and yeah...she seems to be doing fine at the moment...

So back on the subject on High School, I emphasized the might for a reason; while things for me are fine when it comes to my school work, social wise, it's too early for me to say where I stand; the one day I had today could be completely different from the next years coming up, good or bad. But however it turns out, I'll find a way to deal with it...

Is Soulja Boy A B****?

Unless you haven't figured it out by now...I watch quite a few things on YouTube...though I didn't watch it recently I just want to talk about the news video I saw by Philip DeFranco, which was called "Soulja Boy Is A B****". He talked about the conflict between young rapper Soulja Boy (I'll put SB for short) and Eastcoast rapper Ice T which started after Ice T had said that SB had "single handedly killed Hip Hop", he also talked about SB's reactions and what he said back.

What struck me the most about the video is when Philip told people what he thought of SB's music. He said how he didn't even consider it Hip Hop or even Rap; if anything, he described SB's music as "bitch rap", which I honestly (and I don't think I was the only one) found pretty funny xD...

After watching the Philip DeFranco video, I wanted to know more on the whole "SB vs. Ice T" situation...so I watched the two videos myself (Ice T's views first, then SB's reaction after) And I have to say that after watching SB's reaction and what he said about Ice T, I just lost...well not my rescpect for him (I don't think I really had any to begin with) but definitely my liking for SB; this is because In the video, SB is just cursing like mad and saying the N word about what I dunno 80 times =/, therefore whatever he was trying to say, it didn't come across very clearly...that and it's bad enough that the N word is used so frequently in music...but to say it so often in the space of a 7 minute video just made me sick.

Now not only did the video make him seem ignorant and slightly uneducated...but he had two of his friends laughing in the backround the whole time like total prats! What kind of message is that sending to people?! It's probably because of people like him that black people are seen as at times nothing but "uneducated thugs" If not something along those lines by other races...Maybe artists like SB are the reason that some people can't stand to listen to rap music...And I thought SB was said to be a positive role model for younger people...

For Ice T to say that SB "single handedly killed Hip Hop" is a bit harsh...and while I think it is harsh, there are quite a few other bad rappers out there who seem to do music worse than SB's...so if SB did kill Hip Hop, he certainly didn't do it alone...Not necessarily from the point explained before, but I can in a way understand where Ice T was coming from; there are rappers out there that spend a long time coming out with deep and meaningful lyrics, and for SB to just say a few mindless repetitive things in his songs, and also for them to be hits must tick some other rappers off a bit...

I admit, it wasn't that long ago when I was doing the dance and listening to some of his songs...but when I actually sat back and listened to one of his lyrics going "I'm bouncing on my toe, watch me supersoak that ho", I just thought "Wait, what?!" I even had to rewind the song to check I wasn't hearing things =/...for those who don't know what that "supersoak that ho" means, here's a link to a definition:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=supersoak%20that%20ho

It's weird because some people have described his music as something good for 10 year olds or someone round that age to listen to...I'm sorry but if you knew the full meaning of the lyric I quoted above, would you let a ten year old listen to that?!
I understand that SB is kinda young at 18, so I know that he won't exactly be saying lyrics that would typically fall under the Gangsta Rap catergory...but it doesn't make his lyrics 100% clean and innocent as they are sometimes made out to be does it? Now I may say these things about SB, but I don't hate him...I just don't see what's so great about him anymore...his biggest hit was obviously "Crank Dat", but songs like "Yahhh" just get on my last nerve =/

So whether I'm on SB's side or Ice T's side I don't know...I try not to take sides on that sort of thing and see things from both points of view, but I think the conflict between them is over by now anyway, so they'll be no sides to take I suppose...and the whole issue about SB being a b****, well it seems at times that to me, he kinda acts like one coming out with the comments he did about Ice T...

M or F?

Remember in one of my previous posts how I criticised this other website that targets certain people? Well it seems that I was so caught up in thinking that the force(s) behind the website was female, that I completely forgot about the possibilities of it actually being a boy...

Quite a few people these days seem to forget that boys can actually be bitchy and quite mean towards other people too, it just doesn't occur as much as it can do in girls...so at times, when compared to the opposite sex when it comes to being "bitchy", boys seem to be quite normal...

A good example of the "bitchy" or "mean" side of males can be seen in the modelling/fashion industry; anyone who knows a bit about it knows that it is extremely harsh and that there are a lot of pressures for models to look a certain way...but where does this harshness and criticism come from? Well quite a majority of it comes from the mainly homosexual men who play a big role in this industry, whether they are fashion designers, modelling agents or photographers (if to name a few). Maybe because they have such a high status with quite a bit of power they feel like they can say anything they want to the models being booked, whether it's something nice or not...

But a majority of it seems to be pretty harsh, and it is because of certain males like them that certain models feel they have to lean over toilets on a regular basis and make themselves sick...all in the name of getting to a certain weight and trying to live up to their ridiculous standards...
To me, there is a difference between telling a model on how she can improve and be a better model and just being harsh; and if a model is forcing themselves to do those type of things, then the type of things being said to them can't be good can it?

I have more to say on that matter...but I think I'll stop there...what I'm trying to say is, males can be just as "bitchy" (if not worse) than females...so if the force behind the other website is actually male, then I take back all my accusations of the force being a "popular slutty girl"...

What's Love Got To Do With It?

It seems that younger and younger teenagers (when I say younger teenagers, I talk about teenagers under the age of 16) seem to be falling in and out of "love".
(Now before I say anything else, I just want to point out that me talking about this is in no way a "stab" or something like that against my school...I may or may not use a few examples of people from my school...but I'm talking about younger teenagers in general, not just from the school I go to; so if anyone who goes to my school is reading this, try not to take it personally...)

Why I have put the word love in speech marks like that I'll go on about later...but now...I want to focus on how and why younger teens are all of a sudden wanting to have this kind of commitment more often these days, and what they are doing...now the exact reason for this I don't know, but I've seen it happen a lot before...and I still do. Whether it's messages/wall posts to each other on social networking sites such as Bebo or Facebook, going on "dates" outside of school hours, or just a few hugs in the school corridors (if to name a few), more young teenagers (and even some 12 year olds) find the need to be "in a relationship" these days; now while some of it can be cute [to an extent], it can at times be taken as far as to wanting to have sex with the person you're "in a relationship with" (well that's what the case was [and still is] in my previous country anyway...I'm not sure about Switzerland)

Now I don't know about you, but something about that just doesn't seem right to me; while I'm not saying that teenagers shouldn't even be attracted to each other like that (I mean, that's what happens at adolescence...) and shouldn't "date" if they want to (if they feel they are ready for that sort of thing, that's their personal choice), but the whole "love" thing to me seems to be taking it a bit too far. Think about it...at that age do we really know what love is? I don't know...maybe doing things such as listening to certain songs from older artists about make ups, break ups and what not has given some of us the idea that maybe we do know what it is...Maybe because these usually grown up artists have these feelings about other people, it has led some of these younger teenagers to think that they too can have these feelings. . .to me, younger teenagers seem to be using the whole "I love you" term a bit too losely, I mean are they even sure that they really mean it?

And the issue about some 12 year olds going THAT far with each other...I'm just going to say this: THE MINIMUM AGE IS 16 FOR A REASON!!

It's 16 because before people reach that age, a majority of people aren't 100% ready for that sort of thing yet...not just physically, but mentally also. I'll be 16 myself in just over a years time, and even when I am that age, I don't even think I'll be ready for that sort of thing then...so the thought of people at least 2-3 years younger than me doing that...well it kinda scares me a bit =S

Ok, that's me done on that point...but what I'm trying to say is that young teenagers shouldn't try to grow up too quickly trying to act more like an adult...because before you know it, you are an adult...and it's likely that you might just look back and regret not enjoying life just being a child in the past...

I think it's important that people just take those type of things slowly, because if you're just doing it to try and prove yourself to other people or raise your "status" in the school that you're in, than it's not worth doing at all...the best thing you can be is yourself, why should anyone else matter when it comes to that?

YouTube Video

Remember my article "Should Thin Really Be In?"
Well I just found a video on YouTube that basically portrays the same kinda message...here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg2NwnpT66s&feature=related

I'm glad I found this video...I agree with everything that the girl is saying in it...I hope you do too ;)

Phelps Family

Earlier on today I came across this clip on YouTube. The clip was of a baptist woman and her two daughters as guests on the Tyra Banks show; the reason they were on the show in the first place was because of their (mainly the mother's) views on Homosexuals...what makes it strange is that when Tyra started off the interview saying "Why do you and your family hate homosexuals so much?" The woman then replied saying:

"I don't hate them. I am probably the woman here right now that loves them the most. I love them enough to tell them that their sin [as a homosexual] is taking them to hell, and that if they don't repent and stop living that lifestyle then they will go to hell"

Now if you think that's bad enough, she even had the nerve to bring in traumatic events such as 9/11 and the tsunami incident into the equation...she carries on to say:

"I say thank God for 9/11, thank God for Hurricane Katrina and thank God for the tsunami"

When asked why she said this, she goes on to say "We are meant to thank God for all his righteous judgements...America has sinned away her day of grace, the wrath of God is pouring out on this nation"

Now not only does she say bad things about homosexuals...she also mentions Swedish people aswell...
She mentions them because during the tsunami, alot of Swedish people were there on holiday in the area where it happened, meaning alot of Swedish died...She saw this as a good thing because alot of the Swedish people there when the tsunami happened were said to be gay...

She had said alot of other things too but the first few things she mentioned were the things that stuck in my head the most...how can she see things such as 9/11 a good thing?! 2,974 people died in that incident, all of which came from 90 different countries around the world including the US...that means that not only did people in America feel the affect of the twin towers falling, but so did people in those 90 different countries (if not more), now they have to live with the fact that one (or more) of their friends/family members are gone...I'd love to see her go to one of those victims families and say "Thank God for 9/11" then...I wonder what would happen to her

Not only is this woman an extreme homophobic, but she is incredibally ignorant, as well as extremely gullible. To say that all the Swedish people who were killed deserved to die is beyond uncalled for...personally I'm not Swedish, but I do know quite a few people who are...this woman clearly doesn't know any herself, and if she did they probably stopped talking to her after what she said on the show...

She's gullible because she believes every single word that has been said in the Bible. Most people of Christian faith know that not everything in the Bible is true...not every psalm, not every gospel and not every scripture in there is the word of God...I'm Christian myself and I know that some things in the Bible are just words that were said to be inspired by God...I'm telling you now that if God read the Bible himself, he'd probably disagree with quite a few things in there...and the thing about homosexuality being a sin is bound to be one of them.

What disgusts me the most is that her and her family even started up a website called godhatesf***s.com...what is wrong with this woman?! Here's a question for her: if God hated homosexuals so much then why did he allow them to exist?! Homosexuals are born gay, they can't help the way they are...
This woman is acting as if all homosexuals just woke up one day and said "ok...today I'm going to start liking men" when we all know (well most of us do anyway) that that's not the case...if anything some homosexuals probably tried to live a heterosexual lifestyle just to impress the likes of people like her, before they realised that wasn't who they truly were.

At one point she tells Tyra that in the past her and her family have been shot at numerous times and have even had bombs thrown at their house...well to me (and to a few others to) these are signs from God. I think that the whole shooting and bombing thing is happening to her family as a sign that God hates what they are doing and saying about other people; think about it: if God agreed with their actions and didn't see anything wrong in what they were saying about homosexuals, then he would've protected them when people tried to shoot them, or tried to bomb down their house...but he didn't protect them...and do you know why?? because he hates the fact that they are judging other people that he has put on this earth and that they haven't learned to accept everyone for who they are...

I think I've said enough about this now...why don't you see the video for yourself:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mEqlcxW8aS8&feature=rec-fresh

There is also a clip of them on the Jeremy Kyle show, the link for that is this:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=l9Mta3zdavM&feature=related


Tell me what you think of the whole situation.

Hanna Smith

Though she isn't the first to appreciate this blog, a girl called Hanna Smith has also created a blog expressing her views on my school and also the website containing it's "gossip" about it.
In one post, she talks about her appreciation of finding my blog and seeing that someone has finally taken the courage to say what they really think of school life and RHI.

She goes on to say that while she doesn't agree with everything that I say, some of the things I talk about in my posts, such as "Social Ladder" aren't that far from the truth.
How old Hanna Smith is I'm not sure, but it seems that she might be older than me as she says:

"she is quite young she still has a lot to learn and with the years that will follow"

She ends her post about me by saying that she appreciates my courage and how I manage to write long articles. She also says that my blog is worth having a look at...well so is hers. It might not have much articles on it now but that doesn't mean that the things she says on there aren't important or interesting to read; and besides, it probably won't be long until she puts up more things, but anyway here's the address:
http://hannasmith.blogspot.com/

For me, I'm glad to see that she appreciates the things I say on here, and that I'm also happy that she sees the truth about certain things/aspects about my school; and I told her that when I left a comment on her blog...and whether you agree with her or not I suggest you do the same.

It's time that more people voiced their opinions against RHI and stopped feeding off it's "gossip"

Should Thin Really Be In?

One issue that society is currently facing right now is extreme weight loss (and things around that topic)...
And though this issue affects boys too, it mainly happens to girls...And though it doesn't affect that many I have realised that this issue with weight has affected quite a few girls in my school, in both High School and Middle School.

It bothers me because I look at some of these girls at my school and think they were fine the way they were before some of them started to drastically lose weight;
I know quite a few girls that refuse to even step foot in places like McDonalds, because they consider those places things like "nasty" or "disgusting"...the way some of them go on about it makes me think that they've gotten the idea in their mind that eating food like that just once would give them a heart attack or something =S....when we all know that's not true...

I even knew one girl who wanted her maximum weight to be 50kg...
now if you knew this girl and you knew how tall she was then you'd know that the weight she was trying to get to would make her scaringly underweight...
It wasn't long until she came to her senses and started to eat again when most of her friends stopped talking to her; and although she said she had put on weight I was still worried about her...
So I entered her weight & height into this BMI calculator on a health website, & it said this:

"You are underweight for your height

Your BMI is 17.5

If your BMI is less than 18.4 you are underweight for your height. People who are underweight may be at risk from health problems, including loss of bone density and malnutrition."


Hopefully the girl I am talking about now is reading this, and hopefully she'll realise that she needs to get to a healthy weight soon...

But anyway, like I said before there are other girls too in my school with this problem. I remember once at school hearing a High School girl telling her friend not to eat things like croissants, because they contain Carbs. She then went on to say that you shouldn't eat Carbs because they make you "fat"...

Now to me, that sounds like a bunch of crap. If that was the case, then why should a healthy balanced diet consist 1/3 of carbohydrates?!
Yes it's true that if you were to not eat carbs for a while, then you would lose weight. But it wouldn't be too long until you put all the weight back on (if not more) that you lost beforehand...

But that's not the point I'm trying to make...the point is that more girls (not just at my school, but in general) are starting to become obsessed with trying to lose weight, and are using at times extreme ways to do so...
Now I've seen some girls at my school who eat nothing but salads, water and maybe the occasional apple. Now while I'm saying it's not a bad thing to eat things like this, I see a big difference between eating healthily and being obsessed with what you eat and how many calories you are taking in etc...and guess which one I see this as?

And why do some of these girls see themselves at "fat" in the first place? By who's standards are they comparing themselves to? This is one thing I'm slightly confused about...
When I asked a few people I knew what they thought was the reason behind it, that many of them said that they thought it was the media's fault for only showing stick thin women at times with virtually no figure...
One thing I found interesting is when one girl blamed certain High School girls who are said to be bulimic (she mentioned a few names but I won't say who) for the reason behind it at my school; it was then I realised that she was in a way right.

Certain High School girls (only some) at my school do all these things to keep/try to get to what I see as just too skinny. What they often don't realise is that when they do this, younger girls in the school look up to them in a way and think that what/how they eat etc. is actually ok and that there is nothing wrong with it...when there clearly is.
So while I'm saying that it's not completely their fault (as the media does have something to do with it also) maybe if the older girls who had this problem got it sorted, then the younger girls with the same problem might do the same thing.

So to anyone who thinks they're too fat or not skinny enough, DON'T LOSE WEIGHT.
Unless you've actually gone to a specialist who says you are overweight or too heavy for your height/age, fair enough; but until then you're fine the way you are. Normal sized, curvy girls look good too...

& besides...half the skinny girls you see out there aren't even that pretty anyway...they are nothing but skin and bones (what's so pretty about that?!)

Unappreciated?...I Think Not

Just recently I've been receiving a lot of...what i wouldn't really call criticism towards this blog but a few objections from some people at my school ever since leaving a link on the other website...so i think it's right that I set a few things straight...

• When I call myself one of the "outcasts" (see previous post "Social Ladder" for better explanation) , I mean only in my year; I do have friends outside of that
  (**quite a few people seemed to be confused about that**)
  
  
  
• When writing posts on here, I am writing what/how i feel at that time. My opinion about that subject might change in the future...or maybe just stay the same
  
  
• If it seems like I'm complaining I'm not...If you consider me writing my opinion and expressing my thoughts "moaning" than I guess that's your problem not mine
  
  
• Just because I say certain things about the school I am in right now (social wise), it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the education I am getting and that I don't realise how lucky I am to be there. I figured that out myself way before I even came to the school.
  
  
• If this other website I have talked about beforehand didn't exist, then maybe I wouldn't have so many things to "moan" about...If certain people in my school just stopped with the "gossip" and spreading around other people's business that didn't even concern them, then maybe, just maybe I wouldn't get some of the comments I have gotten about this blog.
  
  
• Although I have my bad moments socially at this International school it has also partially changed me in a good way; I am now surrounded by people from all corners of the world and I am receiving a much better education than I did at schools I went to in my previous country.
  
  
• You are probably reading the above point thinking "If she is getting a great education and knows people from all over the world then why does she still have not so positive things to say?", well some schools with these aspects still have not so nice people in them; but I'll keep the above point in mind the next time I write a new post
  
  
• What I write/have written on this blog may offend some people from my school; if that's the case then I apologise, but at the same time (and I've said this before) that was how I felt at that certain moment, my views may change
  
  
• Some people may think that it would be better in general if I just deleted certain posts and kept those thoughts to myself...that's the problem I don't like to keep all my thoughts to myself anymore. I did that before and it didn't help me, now that I have the oppourtunity to I like to express my opinions and thoughts about things (which I do via. this blog)
  
  
  
  So now I've cleared that up...I hope you understand this blog a bit better than beforehand...