- Don't Try To Fix Me, I'm Not Even [Broken] -

I've Moved!!!!! (Blogs that is....)

2009-07-02T02:09:00.000-07:00

I know I said in a previous post that I would write more often than before, and I have...just not on here. I've thought about this for a while, but I decided to change blogs. Same name, same views and opinions, just on a different blog. I'm now using Wordpress instead of Blogspot, I felt like a change...meaning all my latest posts will appear on there and not here; so feel free to go on here if you want, but it won't be updated anymore.

Here's the link to my new[ish] blog

http://billiewalker.wordpress.com/

If You Can't Take The Heat...Get Out Of The Kitchen

2009-05-09T04:28:00.000-07:00

Outside of general comments (good and bad) about my blog, I've even had people telling me what to do with it.

What I don't get is why people keep thinking they can tell me what I can and can't write on here....It's all "you should do this" or "you should change that" or "you shouldn't have said that"....who do they think they are my mother?!

Lets get one thing straight to the people who have said or think those things about me, I don't care if you don't like what's on here, I don't care if it ticks you off... and I definitely don't care if you think I'm being too harsh, because it's MY OPINION.
If I chose to listen to you and I did all the things you told me to, I wouldn't end up being myself on here because I'd be too caught up in what you think and trying to say things that suit you!

If you don't like what I say on here, then don't go on this blog anymore, especially if you know it'll annoy you. It's as stupid as me going on the Klu Klux Klan website. I know that the things being said on there are going to upset or offend me in some way; and because of this, I won't go on it...there'd be no logic in that if I did!

While I appreciate comments on this blog, there's a difference between sharing an opinion about things and saying things should be changed just to suit you as a person...so if you know you are one of those people, do me a favor and make this the last time you go on here, because I really don't want to deal with your constant bitching about it.

It's Been A While...

2009-05-09T04:01:00.000-07:00

Alright I admit, it's been ages since the last time I frequently wrote on this blog; and because of this, I've had people asking me a few questions about it and it's existence...so I thought I'd clear some of them up.

So did you make this blog just to blast people at your school?
Lol definitely not.
As much as I don't like some people or groups at the school, they're not that special for me to make a blog just about them (thier ego's are big enough).
That's what RHI did (the blog about "gossip" in my school).
And we all know how long that lasted for....

Did you make this blog just to get more attention at school?
No.
Whether people in my school read this or not is their choice. I made this blog so I could write down my views/opinions and share it with other people, not just those who attend my school.

Do you still write on Billie Walker?
(as you can see by this post) yes I still write on here.
To be honest, I've gotten alot more school work etc. these days =S, meaning that I haven't had as much time to write things on here as I'd want. Despite this, I'm still going to try and write on here at least 2-3 times a week; as there are alot of things I want to write about, I just haven't had the time :S...

Until It Happens To You...

2009-03-08T03:03:00.000-07:00

I've realised that people these days (when solving their friends problems), act in a way that makes them think they can help the person, when they know they can't because of certain experiences that they have (or haven't) had, and I've come across them myself. Here's some things that they really shouldn't do (add the title of this post in front of each sentence)

...Don't make any pre judgments about the person, because you probably don't know the whole story (you may know alot or more than others, but it's still not every little detail)

...Don't try and give them advice (the last thing they want is someone telling them what they should do), unless they specifically asked for your help. If they're not asking for it, then there's a big chance that they don't want any from you

...Don't give them crappy, useless advice that you KNOW won't work if they do ask you for it

...Don't LIE and convince the person (or even yourself) that you know about what they're going through when in the back of your mind you really wouldn't know, because you've never experienced anything like that yourself

...Don't make it your priority to try and fix things for them. Sometimes it's best just to let the person deal with it themselves rather than with others; because when others do get themselves involved, it has the potential to make things worse instead of better - a problem shared isn't always a problem halved

...Just LISTEN to the person!! Sometimes, people don't want their friends advice or personal judgements, they just want someone to talk to about it without the other person saying much back

There's More To It Than That

2009-02-16T08:28:00.000-08:00

A lot of people think I dislike Abercrombie & Fitch because it's American when that's not the case. Think about it, if it was just because it was American, then I wouldn't own or like a lot of the things I have now.

I don't even have anything against Americans, I don't hate them, I don't think badly of them and I definitely don't look down on them; there's just some things about the American culture, lifestyle that I don't like or agree with, yet that applies to almost every other country/continent out there; there's aspects I don't like about France, Britain, China...and even Switzerland!! The list goes on. So for those who think I have some grudge against Americans...well you're wrong because I don't. Maybe you've chosen to only look at my posts on Americans etc. and nothing else; but then, that's your problem not mine. I suggest you be more open in your options when you choose to read posts on here in the future....

I just wanted to clear that up, but anyway, back to the point.

Abercrombie is one of those "aspects" I don't like about American culture/lifestyle.

Below are some examples of Abercrombie models

Correct me if I'm wrong...but isn't Abercrombie & Fitch a CLOTHING company?! I don't see the models above wearing as much as a necklace...

Oh wait....here's a few

Even then, it's just a pair of jeans, so does that even count?!

The aim of a company is MEANT to be to advertise their product(s) to the consumer, but the most these models have pictured above are just some jeans and a scarf between them!

While it's true that "sex sells", I think this is taking it a bit too far.

These ads may be alright for a Calvin Klein fragrance...but Abercrombie sell clothes, clothes that should be shown more often to their audience. After all, it IS possible for such a company to show the consumer more variations of the product (i.e with clothes on) while still promoting "sex appeal"

Some of you girls reading this may like these adverts shown above...but are you thinking about what this could tell someone?

Are you thinking about how it could make average men insecure about themselves?

Are you thinking about how such ads are making society question what masculinity actually is, in the same way certain ads make society question what beauty is for women?

Are you thinking about how could negatively impact continents outside of Europe and North America by undermining their cultural values?!

The answer is no. The truth is, you're probably just focusing on their appearance and how "hot" they look. The truth is, when looking at such advertisments, you don't think about how it can corrupt people and make them want to change into something they'll probably never be. You don't think about how it can lead to some men (even young boys) putting themselves at risk and drastically putting themselves in danger, just to get like these men you desire.

And for the boys looking at these ads who own a lot of Abercrombie...or perhaps look a bit like or have similar features to these models, you probably think you're great don't you? You're probably think, because you could (note that I said could) be mistaken for one of these models by SOME , that you're one of the best things to step foot on this earth and that any girl must be crazy NOT to be in love with you right?

Well let me bring you back to reality; not every girl out there is that shallow; a lot of girls want someone who isn't a self centered prat who'd choke on their ego if their not careful enough...they want someone who actually has a personality behind all those "good looks". I wonder if you tick that box...(surprise me and say you do :|)

I'm not saying this out of anger or spite, I'm saying it based on what I've seen people act like with my own two eyes. Whether it's in school, on the streets...or even in America itself (not that much though, more in CH)

Like I said before, there's more to my disliking of Abercrombie than people think.

I admit, I've said I hated it a few times, but that's more to do with my hate of it's representation than the actual clothes themselves. So I should really say I hate how Abercrombie portrays male stereotypes, how it's lack of showing it's products doesn't stop it from being as popular as a company that does such as Gap of H&M, how it makes people think that they need to have it, and if they don't....then there's something wrong with them, how it can make some people care about nothing but labels, how it has clones of these models in their shops as nothing but objects for women and girls to pose with, and also how it has to potential to turn certain people into stuck up materialistic prats who look down on almost anyone who doesn't own it (trust me, I've experienced that last one quite a bit)

....I really hope some of you think about the things I mentioned the next time you find yourself looking at one of these ads, or the next time you even see someone wearing it, whether it's a friend, a stranger on the street...or even yourself.

Obama In The House!!!

2009-01-24T00:15:00.001-08:00

This t-shirt says it all really....

I know he was officially President on the 21st, but this is the first time I've had access to a computer in about a week....

...But I have this t shirt :D, if you want one of your own click here

And here's his inauguration speech for anyone who wants to watch it (it comes in two parts):

Part 1

Part 2

It's 2009 Already?!

2009-01-02T10:25:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how quickly 2008 went. It doesn't seem that long ago when I was celebrating the fact that it was HERE...and before I know it, it's now 2009!
Quite a few things happened in 2008; there was the Olympics in Beijing, Obama made history after begin elected, and this blog began :) (if to name a few).
Generally, I felt this was a good year for me (well compared to last year anyway). It may not have been great all around....but oh well, could have been worse :/.
I don't know why but I have a feeling about this year, something tells me it's going to be one of the best years yet...

Anyway, I know I'm a day off =S, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Have a good one ;)

5 Days To Go!

2008-12-20T13:10:00.001-08:00

The fact that Christmas day is 5 days away seems weird, as it only seems like yesterday that I heard someone going "35 days until Christmas!!"
And now it's 5 =/... While I enjoy Christmas, because I get to do things like spend time with my family, have fun, relax, eat tons without it being questioned :D and everything else like that, I can honestly say while I'm happy it's quite soon, I'm not THAT excited about it (either that or it doesn't really feel like Christmas to me just yet). The most I've (recently) gotten excited about it was when I found out I'd be spending it in America....but even then, I wasn't that thrilled about it because it was my first Christmas away from home without most of my family members being around.

This time 5 or 6 years ago, I'd be bouncing off the walls about it, because I'd be wondering about stuff like what presents I'd be getting, what the food will be like, and what would be going on in the Christmas day edition of Eastenders xD.
Especially now that I live in a different country, I care a lot less about what presents I'm getting, and more about the next time I'm going to see certain friends or family members back where I was before. But the thing I'm excited about the most since coming here though is skiing :D.

Anyway, this might be the last post I write before the 25th (doesn't seem like I'll be bothered to write another one before that)...So if that's the case HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAYS...Whether you'll be celebrating Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza...or anything else around this time of year =)

Another British Invasion? I Hope So :)

2008-12-14T04:35:00.000-08:00

After Alexandra Burke (pictured above) won the X Factor last night :D, it made me realise the high rise of strong female singers out there. For instance, there's:

Duffy Adele

Leona Lewis Corinne Bailey Rae

Estelle && Kate Nash (if to name a few)

and guess what...they're all British!!
Not only this, but they've all been highly successful in America as well as the UK during their first year(s) of being in the music industry...some already being nominated for Grammys!
Brits are clearly very popular in the US...and not just with singers either :). Think of models too; the UK gave the modelling industry Twiggy, Naomi Campbell & Kate Moss! Not bad for such a small region in comparison to the US...

Anyway... back to the singers; most of the artists listed above have already gained high popularity with their music on their debut album alone. If this is what things are like for them now, imagine what they'll be like once their 2nd or 3rd album comes out. Hopefully, none of them will go down the same road as Amy Winehouse when it comes to their personal life =/...but so far so good =).

It won't be long before Alexandra joins this lists of singers either...especially after performing a duet with Beyonce on the final show. Hopefully, she'll get signed by the right label and be just as good and successful as someone like Leona...either way I won't hesitate to buy her album when it comes out...until then, I'll just have to stick to the one single she's got out now =(.
But anyway...congratulations to her!! She's proof that you should always try again when it comes to following your dreams; three years ago when she tried for the X Factor Louis turned her down after a few rounds..but then she came back, was mentored under someone else and won!! Must suck to be Louis right now.

And I agree with Simon Cowell when he said she makes you proud to be British...because she really does :D. And about JLS being second...that really doesn't bother me because I know they'll go far anyway and eventually get signed. For anyone who missed it, here's the performance of Alexandra performing "Listen" with Beyonce..enjoy =).

Doesn't It Matter Anymore?

2008-11-30T13:00:00.000-08:00

I want to start this off with a question: when you get new friends, do you ever wonder why you liked that person in the first place? Is it because they're funny, you have similar interests, or don't you care about any of that...do you like them because of the way they look?!
Though some might not want to admit it, this is the first thing some people consider when it comes to choosing their friends or who they hang out with, they don't put anything else into consideration. I can definitely say this (in a way) applies to people in the schools I've gone too.. and even the school I'm at now.

Now I could be talking about seniors in high school, I could be talking about people in my year (who knows?), I could even be talking about people younger than me (actually I'm not... I wouldn't stoop that low) but I'm not talking about every single person in the school...thankfully not everyone thinks like this... but especially this year, people have become more materialistic and shallow when it comes to choosing their friends and who they generally talk to. I can think of a few new people for instance... they've only been at the school for about I don't know... 2-3 months, and they're already part of this "in crowd", they're already known by half of the school, they're already "BFFs" with people I've never been that close too, even if I've tried.

When seeing this, I see a pattern, because all these people that have fit in SO WELL just happen to have that look which is considered "attractive", they all wear Abercrombie, Hollister or any other of those American brands... some of them are even stinking rich.
This can't be fair on the other students of the school, the ones that have been there longer than them, some that have even been there for at least 5 years, the ones that have spent their whole time at the school TRYING to be accepted by these people, just for the new students to come along and fit in almost straight away like it's nothing!! Not only this but the fact that this is happening PROVES my theory in a previous post that you have to be either Swedish, blonde or speak a second language in order to properly fit in.

I look at some these new people, and how many people they all of a sudden know after a short space of time, and how some people are already in love with them and I wonder: If it wasn't for their looks or how much money they have...would they be so popular right now??

The answer to that is probably no. The truth is, there are some people out there who will befriend anyone to get what they want; whether it's something materialistic, connections, or maybe just popularity to up their status in school. Why is it only this year that people have started to become so shallow?! If someone was to ask you why you started talking to that person in the first place, do you know how bad it would sound if you came out with "It's because he's hot" or "Because she's rich" or "Because they can get me into certain places"?!

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel jealous of these people who have fit in so quickly, if I feel anything it's pity, because half the time these people don't realise WHY so many people began to like them in the first place... they haven't figured out yet that it's based on what they have and what they look like instead of who they truly are as a person. Some of them haven't realised that they're being USED. Unfortunately, some of them will never know. Some of them will never find this out because they're too stuck in this other world... this world that will never be like the real world.

Let me ask you something...How would YOU feel if someone didn't like you because of what you had (or didn't have) and what you look like?? Oh wait...some of you would NEVER understand that feeling would you?! Some of you are stuck in this fantasy world were everything is "perfect", where you're constantly surrounded by others and how it's all about you.
Well I can tell you this, it's not a nice feeling. For someone to judge you before they've even gotten to know you on a personal level is wrong, because they'll NEVER know the real you, even if other people were to tell you things about yourself.

These people who only like others materialistically and look wise...will they EVER know the real person underneath that?? Let's face it, once you look past some of these people's riches, their looks and all the things they have, you'll find that some of them have as much personality as a Barbie you'd pick up at Toys 'r' Us. But then again, they'll probably never look at them that deeply, because they don't genuinely care for that person.

If being fully accepted into such a society means that I have to change my appearence, be rich or just wear Abercrombie & Fitch every other day, then I'd rather not be accepted by everyone if not most people. It's times like these where I want to leave such a place and go somewhere else...but that being said, how do I know if people in another school/area don't have the same judgements or mindset?? Only one way to find out...

Make Up: A Must Have Or Just A Waste Of Money?

2008-11-30T12:08:00.000-08:00

foundation
mascara
eyeshadow
eyeliner
concealer
lipstick
lipgloss
blush

....If to name a few. These are examples of the cosmetic products that the media makes females believe they need to have in order to look beautiful, or simply just to "enhance our features".
Anyone could tell you that the cosmetic industry is huge, as it always comes out with some new product that is said to make someone look younger, said to be "better" for your skin, or even last for 24 hours; products that quite a lot (but not all) females purchase, as they are convinced they'll look better than they did before. But do we really need all of this? Will we look fine without them? Do these products actually do what they say on the label?

As females some of us are actually convinced that yes, we DO need these products, and that it's some kind of sin not to wear at least one of these things on a daily basis, when we don't truly need them, the media has just slightly brainwashed us into thinking we do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that make up is a terrible thing and that the media is evil (ok..they probably are), I admit though I usually don't have any on, I wear make up every now and then...when I feel like it, but even then it's just eyeliner, a bit of mascara, MAYBE some eyeshadow to parties, but that's about it...so it takes me no more than 5 minutes to put on...I don't feel the need to spend 10-20 minutes with concealer, foundation, blush and any more of that crap, because it truly is a waste of time to do that every day.

I know girls who will refuse to step out of the house without some mascara on at least because they think they look horrible with their faces just bare...I even know girls who believe make up is a waste of time and money, but despite this they still wear it everyday as it makes them feel better about themselves, I also know girls that own and wear so much of the stuff, that at times you can't help but wonder if they're trying to cover up or hide insecurities they have;
how did things become so bad? Why are people so influenced by the media, taking in all the false messages it spreads without realising it...to the point that there are teenage girls out there who actually feel ugly with the way they naturally are?! I don't know about you, but I know many people who look great (if not better) without make up on, this is because their face isn't masked with these products that cover it up, so their natural beauty shines through, something which is alot more genuine than what they portray in the media...

Now I'm not saying that wearing make up on a daily basis makes you a brainwashed person who has insecurities to hide...if you choose to wear it so frequently thats your choice, but ask yourself these questions the next time your putting it on:

Are you wearing it because you want to...
Are you wearing it because you feel you're ugly without it, so you HAVE to put some on in order to look good ...
Are you wearing it because you're hoping to cover up or hide some sort of insecurity..
Are you wearing it to express yourself...
Or simply because you feel like it?

There are many more questions I could put...but I'll stick to those ones;
if your answer is yes to the 2nd and 3rd question, then you need to learn to love yourself the way you naturally are...because the truth is, even with all of that on your face, at times, it will never be enough...they'll still be a part of you that is insecure about something or another, even with all that make up on.

What Happens Then?

2008-11-11T09:08:00.000-08:00

Some people actually think that living the rich life is great, that it's this amazing lifestyle that must be ALOT better than being middle class or even poor. Part of the reason some people think this is because of... you guessed it: The Media.
With all these fictional and real life programs such as The Hills, The OC, Laguna Beach, Gossip Girl, My Super Sweet 16, or any more of that mindless crap they show on the TV that comes from the US, some people out there actually believe that the only way you can fun and actually enjoy life to the full, is if you're rich... which people should generally KNOW isn't true, because (though I haven't experienced it), living the rivh life isn't THAT great (See my Money Money Money post for more on that).

With these over spoilt rich girls on programmes like My Super Sweet 16, who's best friend is most likely their Mum or Dad's credit card... do they ever think or wonder what will happen to them once they get out into the REAL world, where NOTHING is going to be handed to them on a plate and that for one of the first times in their life, their gonna have to get off their lazy arses and actually lift one of their "precious" manicured fingers and work? Let's face it...they're not always going to be under the thumb of their parents, they're not always going to have things handed to them on a plate when they ask for it or have others doing basic things for them when they actually do it themselves at such an age.

Thankfully this doesn't apply to all rich teenagers that age...after all, some of them do appreciate the fact that their parents worked hard to give them the things they have, and that it didn't happen easy for them... and that it won't happen easy for them either. For the others however, once they finally do get there into the real world, they'll rely on others so much that they won't go anywhere in the real world...either that or they'll have to realise how things actually work (that'll have to be done extremely quickly!)

Oh well...that's what happens when you're literally spoon fed everything you got your whole life, you pay the price for it later...and it will hit you, HARD.

One more thing...to those who think these people have a perfect life, don't belive that for one second...they probably just use all that money and riches to cover up things.

Remember..."Money Can't Buy You Happiness..."

Do We Trust People TOO Much?

2008-11-11T08:33:00.000-08:00

It seems that quite a few people out there open up to people a bit too much, especially when it comes to their friends... some of these friends might not even truthfully like us, they might act one way with you and be completely different with others...

It's these kinda people that should be looked out for, as they're the sneaky ones who probably talk about you the most; they're the ones who won't stop until they find your weakness or one of your insecurities, and when things go wrong, they'll use that against you as they'll know it will hurt you. To be frank, how long you've known or haven't known a person has nothing to do with how much you can trust them. I can think of quite a few people who are "BFFs" or whatever you want to call it with someone, and that someone talks about that other friend behind their back as if they even hated them sometimes =S.

I don't know about you but I've experienced this distrust thing...too many times. I've known people who I thought I could trust and they did nothing but betray that. I even had one of those "best friends" that I'd known since I was about 4...but based on the subject of this article, you can kinda guess what happened between me and them. Even after that happened, I still trusted people too much, I opened up to them unnecessarily and I told them TOO much personally... and while not all of them did this, some of them chose to use it against me later on.
Hopefully, now I've learned from my mistakes, now I'm just going to trust that small circle of people and no more than that; as far as I know, others I don't know that well will just use my trust to their advantage and stab me in the back at any moment...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that people shouldn't open up to anyone, and I hope I don't sound paranoid when I say this, but people should choose who they trust wisely and be more careful...because we never know what some of our friends could be saying about us when we're not around, meaning that we might not really be sure on which one of those friends are genuine and true...and not just another lying deceitful backstabber =/.

He's Done It :)...But Are America Ready For Him As A Whole?

2008-11-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

As we all know by know, Chicago Senator Barack Obama has been elected as the 44th President of the US. Now while this is great news for most people living in this country as well as other places, there are still a percentage of people out there such as some Republicans who believe that Obama was the wrong choice and that McCain should've won instead... But why do exactly they think this? It is because he'll raise taxes once in the White House, is it because he's a Democrat and isn't necessarily on the same page as them, or is it simply because he's a man of colour?
The fact that Obama was more popular than McCain in the votes is a good thing, as it shows that those American citizens who voted for Obama no longer see race as an issue when it comes to who runs their country, it's a sign that most Americans have moved on from the days in the 60s when there was extreme segregation in America amongst blacks and whites...But what about the others? What about the ones who have the same mindset that the average American had all those years ago?

While all McCain supporters aren't racist, like I've said before, some people were supporting McCain just because his opponent (Obama) was black...and it seems like some of these supporters will do almost anything to get rid of Obama now that he's won the election; even when it was just between him and Hillary Clinton, one or two men (or maybe more) were arrested and maybe even sentenced to prison, as they were making plots to kill Obama, plots a few of them tried to carry out before fortunately getting stopped. This is definitely a major problem Obama is facing, even with the secret service protecting him...because there are still Americans out there who don't like seeing a black man in power, they're scared to see such history being made in the 21st century, they're scared to see change, a change that their country definitely needs.

In the US, black people have come so far as a race; from the days of separation in the 50s etc. and being told that we are worth nothing, to now in the 21st century having a black man running the White House and possibly being the most powerful man in the world; something that is telling the world that we are something and that we have overcome. Many non black Americans have come to accept this, however some still haven't and choose not to move on from the old fashion ways. Now as time goes by, while this percentage of people will perhaps decrease, they will always be there whether we like it or not. They'll always be people in America who will refuse or like anything that's different from them...which means that there will always be those few people in America that have a problem with Obama. But as long as there are those who support him all the way and his ideas, that will be a something that will keep the faith he has for America alive

Yes We Can...We Can Indeed :D

2008-11-05T12:13:00.000-08:00

Obama has done it!!!...not only is he the next president of the US but he's made history by being the first black man to be in this position...
Unfortunately I couldn't vote =[, but I'm happy America made the right decision about who would lead their country.

This is a great day, a day people will always remember as one of those things that changed things for the better...

Here's his speech

OMG White Beauty!!

2008-10-05T02:59:00.000-07:00

The white man's idea of "beauty" in women has had an impact on everyone (and not necessarily in a good way); it has been something that has developed over the years, but roughly being the same each time. The following factors are what are said to make a woman beautiful, based on the white man's/woman's standards in the media:
- Long, light coloured hair
- Light coloured, empty looking eyes
- Thin Body
- Pale (sometimes tanned) skin

While this look is natural to some, there are many people who have strived (and still do) to get this look or something similar. What makes it sad is that through history, it has changed how almost every other race sees beauty, even today.

Take African Americans for instance. Once stolen from their land by Europeans and shipped to what we now know as America, the slaves that had a lighter skin tone or Caucasian blood in them due to interracial rape by the white man, were favoured more compared to the slaves of a darker natural tone. Although this happened hundreds of years ago, the light skinned/dark skinned issue has still had an affect on not just a majority of African Americans in the United States, but also black people across the globe, whether it's in the UK, France or even parts of Africa itself. It has gotten so extreme to the point where some of us feel the need to straighten our hair with harmful chemicals, wear coloured contact lenses that aren't even our natural colour, and sometimes even bleach our skin to make it lighter, because its said to be "beautiful"; Something that some black celebrities have undergone to "fit into" the mainstream entertainment industry.

Not only has it affected some females in places like Africa, but Asia too. It is very popular now for some Asian women in places like Japan, China, Singapore, or even North America to wear tape, glue or even have surgery done on their eyes to make them look more like Westerners, because it's considered to be pretty and more attractive . If you went to one of these Asian countries such as Korea, you'd find that the most common form of surgery over there is the type done on a person's eyes to make them look less Asian and more Caucasian...
Not only this, but it's common for Asian women to wear coloured contacts of colours like green, blue or grey that are said to make the eyes look bigger, (i.e. more Western).

Even in places like India or Pakistan, you are only considered beautiful if you bleach your skin, wear coloured contacts, and dye your hair light colours like blonde; colours that are generally unnatural for people from Asia. Take a look at actresses in Bollywood; a lot (if not all of them) have gone under the process of dying their hair, wearing coloured contact lenses and bleaching their skin; some have done it to the point where they are at times, mistaken to be a Caucasian woman. ------->

These ideas and perceptions of what beauty is meant to be has been planted into some peoples minds so badly, that they pass these false perceptions onto younger generations. A good example of this being done can be seen by the author Constance Briscoe.
In her book "Ugly", she talks at one point how her mother would always tell her when growing up how she thought her lips were too big, her nose was too wide and how her skin was too dark; something that affected her in a big way, as later on in her life she got a nose job and lip reduction.

So where did these ideas of beauty come from? Well a large portion of it clearly comes from the media. Everyday we see images of women/young girls who have at least one or two of the factors of "beauty" listed at the beginning of this post; and because these women in the media don't really look like an average female you'd find walking down the street, some of us just assume that they are the beautiful ones, that they are the ones that are truly pretty, and that we have to look like them and not the other way round...a lot of people don't see some of the evil behind the media around us and the false perceptions it makes...

Especially in places like Asia, one of my Asian friends told me that most of the advertisements you see around you consist of women from the Western world with blonde hair, blue eyes and a thin, boyish figure; and the few Asian women you do see in the media over their usually have had surgery to change their eye shape and wear contacts to change their natural colour...something that leads not just Asian women to become insecure about the way they naturally are, but also any other ethnicity that doesn't fit this fake image of "beauty", and is one of the reasons that women do these things to themselves in the first place, because of what they see around them on the in things like advertisements...

Like mentioned before, these false standards of "white beauty" affect the way other races see themselves, if not the actual white race at some points too. I go to a predominately white school at the moment, if you were to go there and look at the girls that are considered beautiful, hot, pretty or whatever you want to call it, you'll find that many of them have blonde/light coloured hair that often passes their shoulders, light, empty looking eyes and are usually quite thin. And because I don't look like this, at times I feel that I'm being judged by others in the school community based on my appearance...not only does this apply to me, but to anyone else there that doesn't live up to these shallow expectations...

I also experienced this in my last school before coming to Switzerland. Even though the school students were mainly people of colour, the girls who were of mixed heritage with the paler skin tone that had more European blood in them were favoured over other black or Asian girls who didn't.
I know this because I was one of those girls who didn't have as much white in them, who didn't straighten their hair with chemicals, and whose skin tone wasn't more on the pale side; and because of this, I was at one point considered ugly. It wasn't until I wore contacts that changed my eye colour and put extensions in my hair that made it look more straight and European, that more people looked at me in a different way and considered me pretty. This is something I regret doing, as I did it thinking (at the time) I'd be excepted more from other people...and even though I was for a short period of time, I was still trying to portray this image that wasn't truly me, an image of myself that was fake. It wasn't until my Mum told me to stop with the grey contacts etc. because I wasn't white, and that things like that weren't natural on our people, that I opened my eyes a bit more...it was then that I accepted myself more and stopped trying to be something I'm clearly not...

So what about the rest of us that have accepted ourselves?? Why should we feel self concious about our looks?? Why should we try and compare ourself to this so called image of "beauty" or "perfection" when it's probably an image based on self conciousness itself. This perception of "white beauty" is false; some white people might just be saying that they are the most beautiful people, because they are in fact the most insecure; something they try to solve or cover up by indirectly telling almost every other race out there that they're inferior compared to the Western world through things like the media, and that in order to be beautiful and to be accepted in today's society that they must look more Western...

What about people like me who have embraced their ethnicity, like the way they are and choose not to alter or change anything about that...does that make us ugly?! Who are you to say that people that choose not to look like most girls in the media aren't beautiful too...

While the media aren't directly saying that everyone else is ugly, they are sometimes giving that impression to other people who don't look like most girls on TV; when the truth is, the women pictured above (as well as many other women) are beautiful too. The media clearly doesn't realise that beauty comes in more than one form, shape or size, otherwise more realistic looking people like them would be shown in it more often, but sadly they're not.

So to anyone (whether you're black, white, Asian or anything else for that matter), who feels the need to change their features just to live up to the modern [false] standards of "beauty", please stop now. You're features are some of the only things that signify you from other races (whether it is your hair, your eyes, your nose, your skin etc.)...Why would you want to change that??
By trying to change/alter not just your facial features, but also things like your weight, you are becoming less of an individual and more of a clone; and worst of all, you are becoming less of the person you truly are, the person you were before you started to compare yourself to people in the media, and felt like you had to change; the truth is they are the ones that need to change, because only a very small portion of people in this world naturally look like them.

Money Money Money....

2008-09-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

Maybe this topic isn't new, maybe this has progressed over the years, but this obsession with money and the "status" it supposedly gives you has REALLY seemed to get out of control these days...
And it seems to be affecting quite a few people, whether it's spoilt teenagers, some music artists out there, or maybe just people in this world with too much power and authority...

For instance, take the school that I'm at now. While there are tons of nice people there, you still get the occasional person who thinks just because of the amount of money they have and how rich they are, that somehow makes them better than people who don't even have half the money that they or their family have. This is sad because, their parents actually brought them up thinking that was true, when its clearly not :S...

That doesn't just relate to some people from my school, but people in general. But that being said, I've only met those few occasional people with that mind set since coming to this school...
But like I said before, not EVERYONE there is like that. I know people there that are probably part of one of the richest families in the school community; but they don't show it. While it is true that they have lots of money, for them it doesn't mean that all their clothes should consist of only expensive designer labels. Meeting people like them has helped me highlight the fact that not all rich people are show offs who feel that they have to portray their wealth to everyone hey know and see (not that I thought that before, but it just helps lower the stereotype of that...)

And while all rich people DON'T feel they are better than others because of their wealth, you still get those who feel that they have to tell everyone how rich they are and how much money they HAVE; a good example of people doing this are some rappers out there (only some).
Don't get me wrong, I like Hip Hop and Rap music (well, not all of it), but if some songs in that genre just consist of the artist going on about how much money they have, how stinking rich they are and how they are "getting paper", then I REALY don't want to hear it; It's probably because of artists like them, that the music quality of that genre has gotten worse over the last few years...not that I'm mentioning anyone in particular (**cough cough** 50 cent**).

Maybe if it wasn't for programs like "Super Sweet 16", then maybe (just maybe) this money obsession wouldn't be so bad. Anyone who's watched that will know that the teenagers on there are just TOO spoilt. I mean, what's the point in spending soo much money on all those unecesary things?! You probably get some young people watching that thinking something like "They have such big expensive parties turning 16, so I must too when I reach that age"
Not that I'm saying everyone is that naïve and easlily influenced, but we all know what impact MTV has had on some people :/...

I can tell you now that if you got to the richest people out there in this wolrd an asked them if they were truly happy, not all of them would say yes; because once you take away the big house(s), the expensive cars, and anything else that their riches have given them, you'll find that for some of them, there's something missing in their life; something that all the money they own put together can't buy them.

It really is true that money can't buy you happiness, because there are people out there who live in one of the poorest countries, with little money and probably not much belongings, but are still probably happier than some of the richest people on this earth; that's because they appreciate the little and important things in life, like life itself, or maybe the fact that they're still here on this earth; it's people like them who are truly happy...

The Kite Runner/A Thousand Splendid Suns

2008-09-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Last month, I found myself reading these two books by the Afghan author Khaled Hosseini, reading A Thousand Splendid Suns first and then The Kite Runner afterwards.
I can honestly say that these were two of the saddest books (emotionally) I have read in a while. Before reading these two novels, I wasn't very aware of the situations in parts of Afghanistan and how bad they were and are now today (especially on the female gender);
though women's/girl's equality is mentioned in The Kite Runner, it is the main topic in A Thousand Splendid Suns, a story based on two women and the abuse they face from their beyond violent husband. (While both books are beyond good, I found A Thousand Splendid Suns to be better in it's consistency, as it caught me more than The Kite Runner did; as for me The Kite Runner ended too soon)
For anyone who has read this book, you will understand what I mean when I say it is definitely an eye opener on how women are still treated today in some parts of Muslim countries such as Afghanistan. For instance: how a woman can't go out in public without a man being present, how a woman is not even considered for any type of education, and how, as it says in A Thousand Splendid Suns: "A woman's face is her husband's business only", meaning that a woman must be completely covered at all times, via. wearing clothing such as a burqa. If a woman was not to do any of the things listed above (as well as others stated in the book), they would be arrested, which could lead to being executed in public or even stoned to death.

Despite the fact that both books are fiction, it is clear that they are based on real life and aren't that far from the truth; and I appreciate Khaled for writing these books and being able to let others know about what is going on in his country; because as bad as this may sound, I was once convinced that the problems going on in places such as Afghanistan weren't that bad; but thankfully, reading these two books told me otherwise. Maybe it's my own fault for not watching the news enough (that being said, we all know how the media likes to exaggerate or under mention some things).

So to anyone who likes a good book that you can't put down, I would definitely suggest these two. Not only do they give you a gripping storyline, but they give you some home truths about some Middle Eastern countries, as well as a little history lesson ;)
Unfortunately, Khaled Hosseini has only published these two books :(, but I have a feeling he's working on another one, something that is better than The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns combined...

What Goes On In Their Mind?

2008-09-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

So there's this person in my school; now who this person is or whether it's a boy or girl, I'll just keep that to myself...but this person has a [slight] (if not bad) mental condition.
Now when I say mental condition, I don't mean special needs or something along those lines, I mean the type of mental condition that can affect their mood, the things they say, and possibly how they see things (or maybe their ego).

In this case, one main thing this person's mental condition seems to affect the way this person treats other people. One moment, this person may be nice, and the next moment,they'll be treating the same person differently than before and start acting like an a-hole or a b**** to you (depending if it's a boy or girl of course..)
Because this person has done this to it's various friends amongst school, from what I know he or she has pushed those friends away; to an extent that this person's true friends are only said to be two people in that person's year (one of which is a new student)

Another thing this person can try do at points is try and put others down for whatever reason...this I don't understand; if you were at that time depressed or sad at one point why would you want someone to feel the same way? If this person needs to bring someone else down (who most probably doesn't deserve it) just to bring themselves up, then their mental condition may be a bit worse than it seems (either that or they're slightly twisted)...I don't know, maybe that person has the same mindset as whoever left bad comments on one of my previous posts...

Or maybe that person is just insecure about themselves, however that shouldn't be an excuse.
I admit it, I'm very insecure about myself, but that doesn't give me the right (or the excuse) to try and bring others down, just because I'm personally in a crappy mood. If I was to be in a bad mood, the last thing I'd want to do is to try and make someone else feel the same way...perhaps this person doesn't want people to see them as insecure, perhaps they'd rather have that affect on other peopl, just so they can forget about their problems for that moment...

Now I've seen this person in many states; I've seen this person be nice, I've seen this person be horrible. I've seen this person being social, I've also seen this person being the complete opposite, refusing to talk to almost anyone. I've seen this person in many ways, but in one memorable state I've seen this person in is when they were crying once at school. When seeing that person cry, I realised this person isn't as mean or as tough as they [might] seem at times; it got me wondering, is this their real personality I'm seeing? Is what they're usually like at school all an act? I can definitely say that day I saw a different side to that person; a side I didn't really know existed in them.

I don't want to give the impression that I hate this person, because I don't; if anything I can't help at times but feel sorry for them and pity them a bit. They can't help their mental state; but this mental condition they have has the potential to affect how that person's peers see them (and not necessarily in a positive way)...
I also don't want to give the impression that I know all the answers to this person's issues, because I don't...I'm just saying what I think and how I see it from my point of view...What this person's condition is called I don't know, but it could be a number of things...could this person be slightly bi polar, a potential future schizophrenic, or are they just paranoid at times? Who knows...

What I do know is that they have visited this blog before, so they probably might read this; so if that person knows I'm talking about them then this is what I want to say to them now:

Stop the act; or if it's not an act and your condition makes you have split personalities, then get help. I'm not saying that you should visit the school counsellor (I don't think even she can help you...no offence) but maybe a few therapy sessions or something, because you don't seem to realise how your condition can affect the way you are seen sometimes. Or maybe your split personalities (if you have them) make it seem that at times there is nothing wrong with you to people like the school consellor, when that's not the case. You can allow others to help you if you can't even help yourself a tiny bit.

Just For The Record....

2008-08-31T00:36:00.000-07:00

Reading a few not so good comments on this blog, I'd thought that I'd adress a few things to some people...

This first point is to everyone: take a good look at the title of this blog; it has many meanings, but the I suppose the meaning I'm trying to portray now is: "Don't feel sorry for me when I'm perfectly fine"
...This blog is for you to see what I think on various topics, NOT for you to read it and think "Oh, her life is so bad, I wish I could help her" or something along those lines...one thing I hate is sympathy, so if you're visiting this blog just for that, then you're on it for all the wrong reasons...

One comment I read on my "Social Ladder" post just made me laugh...I'm sorry but how do you expect me to take that seriously?! What you said to me was through a computer screen!! Maybe, just maybe if you said it to me in person then I might get the slightest bit offended, but that begin said I'd probably just laugh again xD.

And the fact that you see me as ugly, well that's your own narrow minded opinion, some people may agree with you on that, but that doesn't make it true...it seems to me that you have a few problems with yourself if you say such things to other people...
Whoever you are I don't know, but you can't be that important if you haven't told me who you are yet or left no clue or indication of your actual name.

Yeah my arse is fat...so what?! it's not going to get any smaller, so you can kiss it all I care. Do you seriously think that I'm going to lose weight, trying to make it smaller just to suit the likes of you?!
Let's face it...even if I was to do that (which I wouldn't) you would still find something else to b**** about when it comes to my appearance; if it's not my arse then it would be my lips, or my hair, or my skin, or whatever other feature of mine didn't fit your extremely low standards as to what is seen as "normal" or "perfect" etc...

And to the last person who commented on that post, I didn't push people away. You being someone who went to the school and once being an "outcast" yourself, you should know that there are certain people there that aren't worth trying to know on a personal level...and what's all this talk about you "trying"?, you obviously didn't try hard enough if you just gave up after a while and you are STILL going on about what happened; I forgot about all of that the moment you walked out of the school for good. Maybe if you actually proved you were still worth being a friend, then maybe I wouldn't have walked away from you every time you supposedly did "try"; and despite the fact that I clearly KNOW who you are are, you still chose to be a coward yourself and not show any indication of that, I mean, are you that ashamed of yourself?? or are you just all the things you are trying to portray me as....

So I'm going to end this in some of the words of the great poet Maya Angelou, which I want you to remember the next time you bad mouth me on this blog:

"Do you want to see me broken
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops
Weakened by my soulful cries...

You may shoot me with your words
You may cut me with your eyes
You may kill me with your hatefulness
But still like air, I rise"

Social Ladder: Revisited

2008-08-31T00:12:00.000-07:00

Now being in High School, my views have kinda changed on the whole "Social Ladder" aspect...

Honestly, I don't know what I think anymore; I suppose that I don't really consider myself to be an "outcast", but that being I'm not sure where I stand in school anymore. . . When I wrote that post, I wrote it because that's how I saw things AT THE TIME; when writing it I had no intention of offending or upsetting anyone in particular. But to be fair, when saying those groups, I didn't mention names, initials or anything like that of certain people, I only mentioned myself; so in a way people in my school just read it, assumed that I thought they went into this or that group without really knowing, and immediately got ticked off by it. I mean I could see you as a normal average girl for instance, but you may have thought otherwise; so it's not just how I see others, but how others see themselves...

So the next time you read that post, don't just assume I think you go into a certain group without really knowing for certain, you don't know how I really see you...

I [MIGHT] Just Be Ready After All...

2008-08-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

So I just had my first day of High School today...and I must admit, things were a bit better than I thought they would be...
There were quite a few new people in the school (especially in my year), they all were quite nice too (well the ones I talked to anyway =S)
I didn't find myself having any major problem with talking to certain people and visa versa; lol I even went outside at break, it felt a bit wierd at first but after a few minutes I was fine...it seems that my library days might not be coming back anytime soon...

What I found surprising was when I was with a few people in the corridor, and I spotted a new girl in my year on her own in one of the classrooms...I looked at her thinking: it wasn't that long ago when I'd be doing the same thing as her, not wanting to talk to anyone...I understand her wanting to be alone at times, but her being in the school for only a few hours, I couldn't leave her alone...the good thing is is that she did come out and start to talk with others in my year :) and yeah...she seems to be doing fine at the moment...

So back on the subject on High School, I emphasized the might for a reason; while things for me are fine when it comes to my school work, social wise, it's too early for me to say where I stand; the one day I had today could be completely different from the next years coming up, good or bad. But however it turns out, I'll find a way to deal with it...

Is Soulja Boy A B****?

2008-08-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

Unless you haven't figured it out by now...I watch quite a few things on YouTube...though I didn't watch it recently I just want to talk about the news video I saw by Philip DeFranco, which was called "Soulja Boy Is A B****". He talked about the conflict between young rapper Soulja Boy (I'll put SB for short) and Eastcoast rapper Ice T which started after Ice T had said that SB had "single handedly killed Hip Hop", he also talked about SB's reactions and what he said back.

What struck me the most about the video is when Philip told people what he thought of SB's music. He said how he didn't even consider it Hip Hop or even Rap; if anything, he described SB's music as "bitch rap", which I honestly (and I don't think I was the only one) found pretty funny xD...

After watching the Philip DeFranco video, I wanted to know more on the whole "SB vs. Ice T" situation...so I watched the two videos myself (Ice T's views first, then SB's reaction after) And I have to say that after watching SB's reaction and what he said about Ice T, I just lost...well not my rescpect for him (I don't think I really had any to begin with) but definitely my liking for SB; this is because In the video, SB is just cursing like mad and saying the N word about what I dunno 80 times =/, therefore whatever he was trying to say, it didn't come across very clearly...that and it's bad enough that the N word is used so frequently in music...but to say it so often in the space of a 7 minute video just made me sick.

Now not only did the video make him seem ignorant and slightly uneducated...but he had two of his friends laughing in the backround the whole time like total prats! What kind of message is that sending to people?! It's probably because of people like him that black people are seen as at times nothing but "uneducated thugs" If not something along those lines by other races...Maybe artists like SB are the reason that some people can't stand to listen to rap music...And I thought SB was said to be a positive role model for younger people...

For Ice T to say that SB "single handedly killed Hip Hop" is a bit harsh...and while I think it is harsh, there are quite a few other bad rappers out there who seem to do music worse than SB's...so if SB did kill Hip Hop, he certainly didn't do it alone...Not necessarily from the point explained before, but I can in a way understand where Ice T was coming from; there are rappers out there that spend a long time coming out with deep and meaningful lyrics, and for SB to just say a few mindless repetitive things in his songs, and also for them to be hits must tick some other rappers off a bit...

I admit, it wasn't that long ago when I was doing the dance and listening to some of his songs...but when I actually sat back and listened to one of his lyrics going "I'm bouncing on my toe, watch me supersoak that ho", I just thought "Wait, what?!" I even had to rewind the song to check I wasn't hearing things =/...for those who don't know what that "supersoak that ho" means, here's a link to a definition:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=supersoak%20that%20ho

It's weird because some people have described his music as something good for 10 year olds or someone round that age to listen to...I'm sorry but if you knew the full meaning of the lyric I quoted above, would you let a ten year old listen to that?!
I understand that SB is kinda young at 18, so I know that he won't exactly be saying lyrics that would typically fall under the Gangsta Rap catergory...but it doesn't make his lyrics 100% clean and innocent as they are sometimes made out to be does it? Now I may say these things about SB, but I don't hate him...I just don't see what's so great about him anymore...his biggest hit was obviously "Crank Dat", but songs like "Yahhh" just get on my last nerve =/

So whether I'm on SB's side or Ice T's side I don't know...I try not to take sides on that sort of thing and see things from both points of view, but I think the conflict between them is over by now anyway, so they'll be no sides to take I suppose...and the whole issue about SB being a b****, well it seems at times that to me, he kinda acts like one coming out with the comments he did about Ice T...

M or F?

2008-08-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

Remember in one of my previous posts how I criticised this other website that targets certain people? Well it seems that I was so caught up in thinking that the force(s) behind the website was female, that I completely forgot about the possibilities of it actually being a boy...

Quite a few people these days seem to forget that boys can actually be bitchy and quite mean towards other people too, it just doesn't occur as much as it can do in girls...so at times, when compared to the opposite sex when it comes to being "bitchy", boys seem to be quite normal...

A good example of the "bitchy" or "mean" side of males can be seen in the modelling/fashion industry; anyone who knows a bit about it knows that it is extremely harsh and that there are a lot of pressures for models to look a certain way...but where does this harshness and criticism come from? Well quite a majority of it comes from the mainly homosexual men who play a big role in this industry, whether they are fashion designers, modelling agents or photographers (if to name a few). Maybe because they have such a high status with quite a bit of power they feel like they can say anything they want to the models being booked, whether it's something nice or not...

But a majority of it seems to be pretty harsh, and it is because of certain males like them that certain models feel they have to lean over toilets on a regular basis and make themselves sick...all in the name of getting to a certain weight and trying to live up to their ridiculous standards...
To me, there is a difference between telling a model on how she can improve and be a better model and just being harsh; and if a model is forcing themselves to do those type of things, then the type of things being said to them can't be good can it?

I have more to say on that matter...but I think I'll stop there...what I'm trying to say is, males can be just as "bitchy" (if not worse) than females...so if the force behind the other website is actually male, then I take back all my accusations of the force being a "popular slutty girl"...

What's Love Got To Do With It?

2008-08-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

It seems that younger and younger teenagers (when I say younger teenagers, I talk about teenagers under the age of 16) seem to be falling in and out of "love".
(Now before I say anything else, I just want to point out that me talking about this is in no way a "stab" or something like that against my school...I may or may not use a few examples of people from my school...but I'm talking about younger teenagers in general, not just from the school I go to; so if anyone who goes to my school is reading this, try not to take it personally...)

Why I have put the word love in speech marks like that I'll go on about later...but now...I want to focus on how and why younger teens are all of a sudden wanting to have this kind of commitment more often these days, and what they are doing...now the exact reason for this I don't know, but I've seen it happen a lot before...and I still do. Whether it's messages/wall posts to each other on social networking sites such as Bebo or Facebook, going on "dates" outside of school hours, or just a few hugs in the school corridors (if to name a few), more young teenagers (and even some 12 year olds) find the need to be "in a relationship" these days; now while some of it can be cute [to an extent], it can at times be taken as far as to wanting to have sex with the person you're "in a relationship with" (well that's what the case was [and still is] in my previous country anyway...I'm not sure about Switzerland)

Now I don't know about you, but something about that just doesn't seem right to me; while I'm not saying that teenagers shouldn't even be attracted to each other like that (I mean, that's what happens at adolescence...) and shouldn't "date" if they want to (if they feel they are ready for that sort of thing, that's their personal choice), but the whole "love" thing to me seems to be taking it a bit too far. Think about it...at that age do we really know what love is? I don't know...maybe doing things such as listening to certain songs from older artists about make ups, break ups and what not has given some of us the idea that maybe we do know what it is...Maybe because these usually grown up artists have these feelings about other people, it has led some of these younger teenagers to think that they too can have these feelings. . .to me, younger teenagers seem to be using the whole "I love you" term a bit too losely, I mean are they even sure that they really mean it?

And the issue about some 12 year olds going THAT far with each other...I'm just going to say this: THE MINIMUM AGE IS 16 FOR A REASON!!

It's 16 because before people reach that age, a majority of people aren't 100% ready for that sort of thing yet...not just physically, but mentally also. I'll be 16 myself in just over a years time, and even when I am that age, I don't even think I'll be ready for that sort of thing then...so the thought of people at least 2-3 years younger than me doing that...well it kinda scares me a bit =S

Ok, that's me done on that point...but what I'm trying to say is that young teenagers shouldn't try to grow up too quickly trying to act more like an adult...because before you know it, you are an adult...and it's likely that you might just look back and regret not enjoying life just being a child in the past...

I think it's important that people just take those type of things slowly, because if you're just doing it to try and prove yourself to other people or raise your "status" in the school that you're in, than it's not worth doing at all...the best thing you can be is yourself, why should anyone else matter when it comes to that?

YouTube Video

2008-08-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

Remember my article "Should Thin Really Be In?"
Well I just found a video on YouTube that basically portrays the same kinda message...here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg2NwnpT66s&feature=related

I'm glad I found this video...I agree with everything that the girl is saying in it...I hope you do too ;)

Phelps Family

2008-08-06T07:09:00.000-07:00

Earlier on today I came across this clip on YouTube. The clip was of a baptist woman and her two daughters as guests on the Tyra Banks show; the reason they were on the show in the first place was because of their (mainly the mother's) views on Homosexuals...what makes it strange is that when Tyra started off the interview saying "Why do you and your family hate homosexuals so much?" The woman then replied saying:

"I don't hate them. I am probably the woman here right now that loves them the most. I love them enough to tell them that their sin [as a homosexual] is taking them to hell, and that if they don't repent and stop living that lifestyle then they will go to hell"

Now if you think that's bad enough, she even had the nerve to bring in traumatic events such as 9/11 and the tsunami incident into the equation...she carries on to say:

"I say thank God for 9/11, thank God for Hurricane Katrina and thank God for the tsunami"

When asked why she said this, she goes on to say "We are meant to thank God for all his righteous judgements...America has sinned away her day of grace, the wrath of God is pouring out on this nation"

Now not only does she say bad things about homosexuals...she also mentions Swedish people aswell...
She mentions them because during the tsunami, alot of Swedish people were there on holiday in the area where it happened, meaning alot of Swedish died...She saw this as a good thing because alot of the Swedish people there when the tsunami happened were said to be gay...

She had said alot of other things too but the first few things she mentioned were the things that stuck in my head the most...how can she see things such as 9/11 a good thing?! 2,974 people died in that incident, all of which came from 90 different countries around the world including the US...that means that not only did people in America feel the affect of the twin towers falling, but so did people in those 90 different countries (if not more), now they have to live with the fact that one (or more) of their friends/family members are gone...I'd love to see her go to one of those victims families and say "Thank God for 9/11" then...I wonder what would happen to her

Not only is this woman an extreme homophobic, but she is incredibally ignorant, as well as extremely gullible. To say that all the Swedish people who were killed deserved to die is beyond uncalled for...personally I'm not Swedish, but I do know quite a few people who are...this woman clearly doesn't know any herself, and if she did they probably stopped talking to her after what she said on the show...

She's gullible because she believes every single word that has been said in the Bible. Most people of Christian faith know that not everything in the Bible is true...not every psalm, not every gospel and not every scripture in there is the word of God...I'm Christian myself and I know that some things in the Bible are just words that were said to be inspired by God...I'm telling you now that if God read the Bible himself, he'd probably disagree with quite a few things in there...and the thing about homosexuality being a sin is bound to be one of them.

What disgusts me the most is that her and her family even started up a website called godhatesf***s.com...what is wrong with this woman?! Here's a question for her: if God hated homosexuals so much then why did he allow them to exist?! Homosexuals are born gay, they can't help the way they are...
This woman is acting as if all homosexuals just woke up one day and said "ok...today I'm going to start liking men" when we all know (well most of us do anyway) that that's not the case...if anything some homosexuals probably tried to live a heterosexual lifestyle just to impress the likes of people like her, before they realised that wasn't who they truly were.

At one point she tells Tyra that in the past her and her family have been shot at numerous times and have even had bombs thrown at their house...well to me (and to a few others to) these are signs from God. I think that the whole shooting and bombing thing is happening to her family as a sign that God hates what they are doing and saying about other people; think about it: if God agreed with their actions and didn't see anything wrong in what they were saying about homosexuals, then he would've protected them when people tried to shoot them, or tried to bomb down their house...but he didn't protect them...and do you know why?? because he hates the fact that they are judging other people that he has put on this earth and that they haven't learned to accept everyone for who they are...

I think I've said enough about this now...why don't you see the video for yourself:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mEqlcxW8aS8&feature=rec-fresh

There is also a clip of them on the Jeremy Kyle show, the link for that is this:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=l9Mta3zdavM&feature=related

Tell me what you think of the whole situation.

Hanna Smith

2008-08-05T02:11:00.000-07:00

Though she isn't the first to appreciate this blog, a girl called Hanna Smith has also created a blog expressing her views on my school and also the website containing it's "gossip" about it.
In one post, she talks about her appreciation of finding my blog and seeing that someone has finally taken the courage to say what they really think of school life and RHI.

She goes on to say that while she doesn't agree with everything that I say, some of the things I talk about in my posts, such as "Social Ladder" aren't that far from the truth.
How old Hanna Smith is I'm not sure, but it seems that she might be older than me as she says:

"she is quite young she still has a lot to learn and with the years that will follow"

She ends her post about me by saying that she appreciates my courage and how I manage to write long articles. She also says that my blog is worth having a look at...well so is hers. It might not have much articles on it now but that doesn't mean that the things she says on there aren't important or interesting to read; and besides, it probably won't be long until she puts up more things, but anyway here's the address:
http://hannasmith.blogspot.com/

For me, I'm glad to see that she appreciates the things I say on here, and that I'm also happy that she sees the truth about certain things/aspects about my school; and I told her that when I left a comment on her blog...and whether you agree with her or not I suggest you do the same.

It's time that more people voiced their opinions against RHI and stopped feeding off it's "gossip"

Should Thin Really Be In?

2008-08-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

One issue that society is currently facing right now is extreme weight loss (and things around that topic)...
And though this issue affects boys too, it mainly happens to girls...And though it doesn't affect that many I have realised that this issue with weight has affected quite a few girls in my school, in both High School and Middle School.

It bothers me because I look at some of these girls at my school and think they were fine the way they were before some of them started to drastically lose weight;
I know quite a few girls that refuse to even step foot in places like McDonalds, because they consider those places things like "nasty" or "disgusting"...the way some of them go on about it makes me think that they've gotten the idea in their mind that eating food like that just once would give them a heart attack or something =S....when we all know that's not true...

I even knew one girl who wanted her maximum weight to be 50kg...
now if you knew this girl and you knew how tall she was then you'd know that the weight she was trying to get to would make her scaringly underweight...
It wasn't long until she came to her senses and started to eat again when most of her friends stopped talking to her; and although she said she had put on weight I was still worried about her...
So I entered her weight & height into this BMI calculator on a health website, & it said this:

"You are underweight for your height

Your BMI is 17.5

If your BMI is less than 18.4 you are underweight for your height. People who are underweight may be at risk from health problems, including loss of bone density and malnutrition."

Hopefully the girl I am talking about now is reading this, and hopefully she'll realise that she needs to get to a healthy weight soon...

But anyway, like I said before there are other girls too in my school with this problem. I remember once at school hearing a High School girl telling her friend not to eat things like croissants, because they contain Carbs. She then went on to say that you shouldn't eat Carbs because they make you "fat"...

Now to me, that sounds like a bunch of crap. If that was the case, then why should a healthy balanced diet consist 1/3 of carbohydrates?!
Yes it's true that if you were to not eat carbs for a while, then you would lose weight. But it wouldn't be too long until you put all the weight back on (if not more) that you lost beforehand...

But that's not the point I'm trying to make...the point is that more girls (not just at my school, but in general) are starting to become obsessed with trying to lose weight, and are using at times extreme ways to do so...
Now I've seen some girls at my school who eat nothing but salads, water and maybe the occasional apple. Now while I'm saying it's not a bad thing to eat things like this, I see a big difference between eating healthily and being obsessed with what you eat and how many calories you are taking in etc...and guess which one I see this as?

And why do some of these girls see themselves at "fat" in the first place? By who's standards are they comparing themselves to? This is one thing I'm slightly confused about...
When I asked a few people I knew what they thought was the reason behind it, that many of them said that they thought it was the media's fault for only showing stick thin women at times with virtually no figure...
One thing I found interesting is when one girl blamed certain High School girls who are said to be bulimic (she mentioned a few names but I won't say who) for the reason behind it at my school; it was then I realised that she was in a way right.

Certain High School girls (only some) at my school do all these things to keep/try to get to what I see as just too skinny. What they often don't realise is that when they do this, younger girls in the school look up to them in a way and think that what/how they eat etc. is actually ok and that there is nothing wrong with it...when there clearly is.
So while I'm saying that it's not completely their fault (as the media does have something to do with it also) maybe if the older girls who had this problem got it sorted, then the younger girls with the same problem might do the same thing.

So to anyone who thinks they're too fat or not skinny enough, DON'T LOSE WEIGHT.
Unless you've actually gone to a specialist who says you are overweight or too heavy for your height/age, fair enough; but until then you're fine the way you are. Normal sized, curvy girls look good too...

& besides...half the skinny girls you see out there aren't even that pretty anyway...they are nothing but skin and bones (what's so pretty about that?!)

Unappreciated?...I Think Not

2008-08-01T10:19:00.000-07:00

Just recently I've been receiving a lot of...what i wouldn't really call criticism towards this blog but a few objections from some people at my school ever since leaving a link on the other website...so i think it's right that I set a few things straight...

When I call myself one of the "outcasts" (see previous post "Social Ladder" for better explanation) , I mean only in my year; I do have friends outside of that
(**quite a few people seemed to be confused about that**)
When writing posts on here, I am writing what/how i feel at that time. My opinion about that subject might change in the future...or maybe just stay the same
If it seems like I'm complaining I'm not...If you consider me writing my opinion and expressing my thoughts "moaning" than I guess that's your problem not mine
Just because I say certain things about the school I am in right now (social wise), it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the education I am getting and that I don't realise how lucky I am to be there. I figured that out myself way before I even came to the school.
If this other website I have talked about beforehand didn't exist, then maybe I wouldn't have so many things to "moan" about...If certain people in my school just stopped with the "gossip" and spreading around other people's business that didn't even concern them, then maybe, just maybe I wouldn't get some of the comments I have gotten about this blog.
Although I have my bad moments socially at this International school it has also partially changed me in a good way; I am now surrounded by people from all corners of the world and I am receiving a much better education than I did at schools I went to in my previous country.
You are probably reading the above point thinking "If she is getting a great education and knows people from all over the world then why does she still have not so positive things to say?", well some schools with these aspects still have not so nice people in them; but I'll keep the above point in mind the next time I write a new post
What I write/have written on this blog may offend some people from my school; if that's the case then I apologise, but at the same time (and I've said this before) that was how I felt at that certain moment, my views may change
Some people may think that it would be better in general if I just deleted certain posts and kept those thoughts to myself...that's the problem I don't like to keep all my thoughts to myself anymore. I did that before and it didn't help me, now that I have the oppourtunity to I like to express my opinions and thoughts about things (which I do via. this blog)

So now I've cleared that up...I hope you understand this blog a bit better than beforehand...

RHI knows...

2008-07-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

Lol Turns out that whoever the twisted individual is behind the website I mentioned earlier, that targets certain people in my year/school have seen this blog, (well to be fair I did leave a link to it...)
But I think it's about time that SOMEONE had the balls to tell them what they really thought about them and the things they were putting on the site...

It's even being questioned about who I am...
Well if you were to ask me who i actually was I'd tell you...I just feel like writing these posts under a different name thats all...nothing wrong with that is it??

So to whoever is behind this other site: get rid of it.
Not only does it sometimes affect the people who you are writing about, but you are at points invading their privacy. Who cares if this or that person is in a relationship with someone else; it's on Facebook...isn't that enough for you?? Why can't you just leave them to get on with their relationship without the likes of you trying to make a big deal over it...

And another thing: just because you have certain people out there who thrive on the things you put up it doesn't mean that you shouldn't stop. Maybe those certain individuals will just have to learn to live without their "gossip" for once...

For those who haven't visited this site before and wonder what it says...you'll just have to keep wondering because more than enough people have been on it already (your loss)...

Best Friend(s) - Who Needs Them?

2008-07-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

You know how most people have that best friend; you know the one they always hang out with, the one that they know they can trust, the one they've known since they were 6 or something like that?
Well...turns out I don't have one of those. At one point I thought I did, as I'd known this girl since i was about 4; but like quiet a few people I've known and know now she was just like the rest of them; a two faced backstabber (if to say the least...)
After what happened with her, I promised myself that I wouldn't be as close to someone like that again, as it always ends up badly (well at least for me it does anyway...)

Although I still think this a bit, I find myself looking at the school environment surrounding me and notice people with their best/closest friend; it's then I realise that everyone has SOMEONE; even the "outcasts" have someone outside the school community...everyone that is except me.

I hate to admit this...but I miss having a good friend like that. While I have a few friends at my school that I feel that I can sometimes talk to on a personal level...I honestly couldn't talk to them about anything at that moment that would be bothering me. It's not that I don't trust them, it's just that:
1) I know what they would say
2) They have been fortunate enough not to have gone through any rough times so they wouldn't be able to relate to the situation
3) They just wouldn't understand
the third reason is the most important to me, though they wouldn't admit it, they'd just act like they know how I'm feeling, when truthfully they don't.

I don't know, maybe I'll eventually find a friend like that, maybe I won't, or am I just pushing people away?
Maybe I'm not the one with the problem & it's just the combination of a-holes, plastic whores and fakes (with the occasional good person) surrounding me. Like one of my favourite bands ay in one of their songs
"All you can be is just you 'cos your real not the plastic type/But reality sets and your stuck in this plastic life"
What I love about that song (for anyone who knows it) is that it depicts my school life perfectly well, I can listen to it and it makes me feel better; at least they care...

And he's right, I am stuck in this plastic life, basically until I graduate...
Until then, i deal with it one step at a time...

High School "Popular Slutty Girls" Vs. Middle School "Popular Girls"

2008-07-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

If you don't know what the high school is like at my school let me explain it to you...it's in some ways similar to the groups you'll find in middle school (see my "Social Ladder" post for the explanation), but in some ways it is worse...while the boys in general mature overall, the "popular boys" become more cocky and arrogant, while the "popular slutty girls" become a lot more bitchy and self centred; some of them even become more obsessed about their weight :s

These "popular slutty girls", are used to having a lot of attention (especially from the opposite sex) drawn to them; and when all eyes aren't on them...even if it is just for one moment, you can imagine that they don't take it lightly. How they resolve it you wonder? By spreading rumors about the girls who the attention IS to, these girls being the "popular girls".
There has always been alot of friction and tension between these two social groups. While the "popular girls" just want to get on with their lives, the "popular slutty girls" will try and put the other girls down at any moment they can...just to make them feel generally better about themselves (isn't that sad?).

Like i mentioned before, they spread rumors that they have heard about these other girls, or just rumours they have heard off the top of their heads....
But my school being my school (i won't mention it's name), just telling people about these rumors wasn't enough for them was it? so what do they do? They set up a website for everyone to see...
This website has caused a lot of upset for the "popular girls", as the things stated on there are exaggerated and beyond the actual truth; and to make things worse, the "popular girls" being targeted on this website are all in my year group, i.e they were just in middle school when these things were said about them...

Middle school?! excuse my language but how low can these "popular slutty girls" f****** stoop? Them being in high school they should know better than to spread such s*** about girls that are younger than them...these "popular girls" in middle school have done nothing wrong yet these "popular slutty girls" in high school still CONTINUE to spread horrible rumours about them...and for what? because some high school boys find them attractive?!

These "popular girls" going into high school the upcoming school year...you can only imagine that the rumours are going to get worse and more ridiculous than before...
When a friend of mine from the "popular girls" asked me what i thought of the website and the things being said to her, I told her this:

I told her that the website was full of s*** and that her, or any of the other "popular girls" being targeted on it shouldn't pay any attention to it; i told her that yes she does have every right to be a bit upset by it, but she should still not let it get to her...because if she was to show these "popular slutty girls" that, she'd be showing them that they've won; that they have achieved trying to bring down her as a person. I told her that she KNOWS that they have nothing better to do...so why get annoyed about that?
I ended it by saying (this may sound kinda harsh) that if they can't deal with the fact that the attention is going to be on them all the time, that they should just f*** off and go stick their fingers down their throats; or whatever those Barbie sl*ts do in their spare time to get skinny...

This tension has gone on between the two groups for too long...i just hope it all ends soon before things get out of hand (which i don't think is very likely at my school tbh...)

The "Social Ladder"

2008-07-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

Here’s an explanation of the social groups you’ll find in my current school & where i fit in them:

There are groups amongst the school that I go to: There are the popular girls, the popular boys, the popular slutty girls, the not so popular immature boys, the normal average girls and the normal average boys. Then there are the “outcasts” of the school. You are probably wondering why I’m not using such terms as jocks or cheerleaders etc…well being in Switzerland, these type of terms aren’t really common in an International school and are mostly used in America. While the popular boys & girls are considered what is known as “hot” or other similar terms, the normal average girls and boys get not as much attention as the popular girls and boys; while the outcasts get almost none at all, unless it’s for humiliation purposes.

When I say outcast, I don’t mean literally as these people do have some friends amongst the school community, I mean the ones who most people don’t really talk or pay attention to; the ones that hardly ever get invited to social events; the ones that a lot of people don’t want to get stuck with in sports teams; the ones that no one really sits with in assemblies or at lunchtime because they’re considered “weird”. The ones that just want to fit in and be accepted by everyone.

While these popular people are out partying in there big expensive homes getting drunk, spending unnecessary amounts of money or simply going out by the lake on “Daddy’s boat”, the normal average people do more productive things with their life, while the “outcasts” tend to stay at home.

Unless you haven’t figured it out by now, I am one of these “outcasts”. Yes I do know a substantial amount of people in my school and I am kinda friends with some people in each of the groups stated above, but I still don’t fit into any of these groups. At one point I was one of the normal average girls in my year group, until they got sick of me for an unknown reason and decided not to acknowledge my existence most of the time. I even tried to hang out with the popular girls, although they liked me and they still do they always tend to have those private girly conversations and after a while made it pretty clear that they didn’t really want me around…they probably thought that I just “got in the way”…One of the normal average girls even told me to “get back to my last school”…to make things worse it was the one girl who I thought I was closest to…the girl who I thought I could trust the most…turned out that I was clearly wrong.

Parties I get invited to (with a lot of persuasion), but I never find myself really enjoying them. I recall one pool party when a small group of the "popular boys" were playing table tennis. I was on the side watching them but after a few minutes they told me to go because I was apparently "in the way of their game"…I left convinced that I was, but then I saw one of the "popular girls" going to the exact same spot were I had been before…and they said nothing…they let her stay there.

One bad thing about going to an International school is, although it is English speaking with most lessons in that language, you’ll find that many languages are spoken amongst people. While I am not saying it is a bad thing to be in a multi lingual environment where people speak whatever language they are most comfortable speaking, I’ve found myself at times trying to socialise with some people that purposely speak another language that I don’t understand just so they can bad mouth me and joke about me at their own personal amusement, without me really realising, knowing that I can’t say anything back.

So now…I tend to be alone at times. This may sound strange but when it comes to break times at my school…I don’t go outside anymore. I just go into the school library and read or do some schoolwork on one of the computers. I love books, I always have. One aspect I like about them is the fact that just for that moment I’m in someone else’s world and not my own…whether it’s fiction or non fiction, even if it is for a short period of time. At times I find myself looking out the library window looking at everyone in their groups…especially the normal average girls…I used to be one of those girls…

Looking at them i find myself at times confused...while these "popular girls" unintentionally attract the "popular boys"...these "popular slutty girls" put themselves out at any moment they can trying to get their attention; i look at them and think "why do they do this? why are they so desperate to be the centre of attention at all times?"...

Can you think why they are like this? maybe they are insecure about something, i dunno...

High School: Am I Really Ready?

2008-07-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

For those who don't know what the High School people at my school are like, let me explain it to you...
It's in some ways similar to the people in Middle School, although in High School, while boys generally mature overall, certain ones become more cocky and arrogant. While the girls become bitchier and mainly become more obsessed with their weight overall...

Another thing that about 70% of high school students tend to lose is their individuality, while for the girls it sometimes can be their appetite for food...
I have always thought that a very large majority of High School students look the same; simply because of the way they dress....
Almost everyone in High school wears Abercrombie & Fitch all the time along with ridiculously tight skinny jeans (yes, on some boys too :S), Polo shirts on the boys and denim miniskirts on girls....

I just finished my last year of middle school, so I'll be part of this "wonderful" high school next year..
As much as I'm ready for the new teachers and more schoolwork, social wise I don't think I am..
Yes i know a few High School people, as i have my moments when I can be very social with people, but i know for a fact that there are some people in high school that have a problem with me...

When it comes to what is "pretty" and what isn't when it comes to girls, the only way someone will actually like you is if you are Swedish, Blonde or speak a second language.
None of these things, I am or can do, but I don't like any of these boys at my school anyway (thank God..)
Why High School people tend to be so narrow minded when it comes to a girls appearance I don't understand, but I am telling you now some won't hesitate to say what they thought was wrong about you if you were a girl...

Because of reasons like these and a few more...I think to myself "Am I ready for High School? Do I really want to surround myself with a***holes, fakes, wannabes and possibly bulimics too for that matter?"
That being thought I realised...I can deal with it, as long as i don't turn into one of them I'll be fine right? I mean...4 years go by very quickly these years...and it won't be long before quite a few of them are leaving themselves...